How to cope

Hi Akaye76

Sad and upset for all you are going through, it's a tough gig even without multiple responsibilities and feeling for your children. I also was diagnosed in January with metastatic breast cancer (lungs, liver, breastbone) also ER+ HER-and one of my points of positivity is I was able to choose to retire in June and now have greater liberty.

I picked up on your goals (staying positive, living to see your children grown) these are both realistic in these times and a reason to fight is an excellent thing. It's also ok to feel sad, frustrated, discouraged, afraid, devastated, angry - every and all emotional reaction. This group is a good place for that. 

In coping with the diagnosis, I find that short term and medium term goals are helpful, like planning a meal out, at home 'spa' treatment (bubble bath and face mask),  mini holiday with my husband (half day trip with fish and chips) and/or soft drink and a donut with grandchildren and adult children. Sometimes a pot of herbal tea plus a good book and ignoring the bathroom that needs cleaning feels like a good option! Short term goals are getting together with friends for a phone call or coffee, baking biscuits, exercising by walking around the block and currently, trying at home resistance exercises to improve physical strength (I'm 68, so this is increasingly important). Having little 'dates' with my grandies (limited to activities within my energy limits) and reaching out to do something small for someone else also helps. Sometimes telling the young person who serves me at the supermarket thank you, with a small compliment, brings a smile.

I do understand that this is harder with a growing family and so many responsibilities, one of my positives is having time to choose. Saying "no" to non essential things in favor of doing nothing also feels like a treat!

It's early days for us, and the journey, while not for the fainthearted, is worth making and brings some positives at times. Please keep sharing, your message alone brought me comfort to know I'm not alone.

PS my long term goal is to see my youngest grand child enter high school - she's in Reception.