Forum Discussion
Tricoteuse
9 years agoMember
Fired by my doctor
I am in shock. I have been seeing my med onc regularly since my recurrence 16 months ago. I had a very unexpected (aren't they all) recurrence nearly 5 years after mastectomy/ node sampling and Tamoxifen for stage 1 ER+ cancer. Extensive bone mets causing several fractures in my lumbar spine and ribs, and some lung and liver nodules. I have been on Xeloda, but over the past few months I have felt that it is not working as well. Two weeks ago I developed severe pain in my gluteal area that turned out to be extension of a known lytic lesion in my pelvis. I had radiotherapy for 5 days and tried to get an appointment with med onc to find out what to do next.
She called me back and said she wouldn't see me any more because I had been rude at my last appointment (pressing her to tell me what she would recommend next if Xeloda wasn't working, and how we would make that assessment), and she found out I had tried to go for a second opinion. There had also been a big gap since my last appointment due to Christmas and an overseas holiday.
I'm devastated. I don't have an oncologist, and I've just had disease progression on treatment. I can't get in for my second opinion for three weeks.
has this happened to anyone else?
She called me back and said she wouldn't see me any more because I had been rude at my last appointment (pressing her to tell me what she would recommend next if Xeloda wasn't working, and how we would make that assessment), and she found out I had tried to go for a second opinion. There had also been a big gap since my last appointment due to Christmas and an overseas holiday.
I'm devastated. I don't have an oncologist, and I've just had disease progression on treatment. I can't get in for my second opinion for three weeks.
has this happened to anyone else?
13 Replies
- ZoffielMemberHope you didn't get charged the same rate, Cate!
- Cate64MemberLol... get this one... Oncologist visit today BUT no Oncolohist NOW i am delegated to the Nurse Practicioner!! I think I am fired as well...
- primekMemberHope all goes well with your new oncologist.
- ShareMemberHi Cate - I have found this all so confronting and overwhelming - I can only imagine how YOU are feeling and processing all of this.
We feel so vulnerable at times and develop trust and reliance on our specialists. We feel like we are so exposed at times and just need that little bit of support & re-assurance.
Thinking of you this week (hopefully it goes quickly).
Sheryl xxx :* - fairydustMemberYour oncologist has probably done you a favour. Its great when you find an oncologist that you click with . It is uphill when your working with someone you do not get along with. In my case I fired my first breast surgeon who worked at the same hospital as the second breast surgeon I hired. I could not have been happier with my decision. I did not make that decision lightly. Look on it as something for the best.
- socodaMemberHi Tricoteuse, Sounds like you're better off without her. If she is that precious because you wanted a second opinion I reckon good riddance!!! Hoping your new oncologist is absolutely sensational and confidence inspiring!!! Xx Cath
- TricoteuseMemberShe offered to send me to someone else at the same hospital, but I'm afraid she's poisoned everyone's mind against me. GP has sorted out an alternate oncologist. Was really just wondering if anyone else has had a similar experience. I needed a change anyway, as we're not a good personality match, but firing a patient just because you don't like her seems pretty extreme. Could have steered me elsewhere rather than abandoning me in the middle of a crisis.
- Cate64Member@Tricoteuse i am waiting to be told something similar... my solictor just requested my medical records.... im very nervous now as to what my reception will be this Fridays appointment...
- primekMemberIf you do want to continue perhaps write a letter explaining your thinking at the time and your fears and emotional state that was involved in how you approached her.
What I get reading between the lines is the need for trust between the patient and oncologist and perhaps she feels this isn't there.
So ask yourself...do you trust her decision making / knowledge / experience?. If you do , then tell her. Sometimes specialist need time to ponder a course of treatment action and at that time wasn't certain which way she would go. It's possible your response on that day was insulting to her knowledge without intention. But a heartfelt apology may be accepted and the working relationship can then continue.
I hope tbat you have a new specialist soon and feel confident in your treating team. Kath x - iserbrownMemberWell you obviously don't get on with that Onc. Priority is to obtain referral to a new one. GP is needed here. Confidence is key.
Take care xx