I was diagnosed with metastatic breast cancer in 2015. I was told it had spread to my liver & lymph nodes in my chest. The cancer started slowly growing in my liver last year, so tried two different types of chemo. Abraxane didn't work at all so was taken off that within 6 weeks. I was on Eribulin for around six months. The CT scan showed that the Eribulin was keeping the cancer stable in the liver & chest, but my tumour markers were going up. So my oncologist was concerned so sent me off for a bone scan last week. Today I have been told the cancer has spread into my bones in my lower back, legs & left arm. I thought we had the cancer under control. Obviously not! I am very upset by this news. I feel numb! The reality is starting to set in for me that I will not see my kids grow into teenagers. I am sorry if this sounds morbid to some people but it is my reality. The tears are flowing now....

Hi all. Thank you for your kind words. I am feeling much better this weekend. My gorgeous little boy turned 8 & it was a weekend celebrating with family and friends. Life goes on!! I am starting a new chemo called Caelyx next Wednesday. Wish me luck. Let's hope this new treatment works on those pesky mets xxx

Hi @angg66,Sorry to hear your sad news,the ladies have pretty much covered everything, just wanted to let you know that I too have tumours in my liver and all through my spine, I understand, I get it!!, there is not a lot more that I can add, I hope you get some comfort from just knowing that you are not alone, we are here, we care and understand, on June 28th it will be 5 years since my diagnosis and I am still here, one day at a time,I am currently on Zeloda, a oral form of chemo, which has for me been successful, I have been on it for 2 years,my partner and I have just had a lovely 3 day break at a Otis Foundation retreat, a breath of fresh air, change of scenery, to recharge my batteries,please, be kind, be gentle on yourself and I hope that your family are taking very good care of you, you can DO this,listen to your body,and just breathe, sometimes thats all we need to do, I enjoy the smaller things in life now, stage 4 shows you whats important and whats not, yes its bloody hard and very unfair, to just be in the moment, is what I have had to learn, also to be a little bit selfish as well, do what makes YOU happy, trust in your medical team that they will find the right treatment just for you,in this next stage of your life,keep warm,would love very much to give you a hug and have a little cry with you, but distance prevents that, so please know that you are in my thoughts as we put one foot in front of the other and get through the days ahead,wendy55

I feel your pain and most of us on here however I'm stage 4 too and similar locations.. I've faced the horrible demons we all do however I believe breast cancer is the best cancer to get if one is unfortunate enough to have to be a recipient. It is so well funded and all the time new drugs are appearing to help us combat the monster within us . I make sure I do not leave it to only my medical team but me too by only providing my body each day with the best nutrition I possibly can ..rule number one...it doesn't go in my mouth if it contains sugar as cancer loves sugar hence the pet scan ...adding glucose to attract the cancer. And everyday I push myself to exercise as I feel empowered it makes me feel in control a lot more ...you see Angg we may have this but a healthy fit you can fight it more .Not one person in my country town knows I have stage four cancer I even hid my hair loss for a long time. They all just think I'm a fit healthy person and sometimes when they tell me their woes I silently think if only you knew mine with a smile....you can fight this you can ..and while your doing it things will become available to help you and me ...look everyday at our beautiful days and believe you can fight this fight because you are in control and fight to win . No talk of dying ...just take control you are much stronger than you know....

I absolutely get how sad you are over the situation and your very real fears of seeing your children grow up.But...Remember that bone metastasis can be treated really well with radiotherapy and surgery. It is good the treatment has reduced the liver mets. I'm sure your team has ideas for your ongoing treatment. But we so get how you feel. It's okay and normal to have tears and fears. XDo check in and let us know how you get on. Kath x

Here here Wendy :) congrats on the 5 year anniversary I too have now entered my 3rd year and will soldier on living as you say a different life but a good one .AS usual your always full of wonderful advice one day I hope I am too ....hugz to you my cyber friend..

Feeling numb & sad as cancer is spreading

36 Replies

melclarity
Member
9 years ago
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Lisa, Im so sorry to hear of your news!!! Uuugh I so understand, Ive had 2 major lumpectomies but unfortunately now as precaution I have to have a Mastectomy, but I dont regret having done it this way at all. I think the tough part is when you run out of choices and you have to do things you dont necessarily want to. Id love to wake up at the end of this year once I got surgery/recon out the way OUCH!!! Hang in there, day at a time!!! x
Ann-Marie
Member
9 years ago
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@Lisa50 I just wanted to help you out with where to post.
If you are updating or commenting to a conversation that you have started (just like this one) then this is the right way to go.
If you want to start a new conversation about a new question or something different then you just press "New discussion". It will create a new post into the online network.
Please continue to come online, the members as well as the community team are here for you x
Lisa50
Member
9 years ago
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I'm never sure where to write updates??
Well my results were not good unfortunately. Originally diagnosed with 5mm invasive ductal carcinoma. Had Wide local excision, 4 lymph nodes removed. (5th Jan) Pathology says 22mm stage 2, grade 2, invasive lobular carcinoma with extensive atypia (pre-cancer cells) Est & Prog + . Lmph nodes clear. So I had to make the decision re Resection or mastectomy..
I decided to have a resection (many reasons) and am booked in this Friday 27th Jan. I have only just started to feel a bit better & now have to start all over again. Still need rads (even if I had Mastectomy) I am really upset by all this, feeling overwhelmed & annoyed! Want to run away and return when it is over!!
I always find comfort though when I come here :) Thanks to all you beautiful ladies X
socoda
Member
9 years ago
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Hi Lisa, Congratulations on getting the surgery over and done with. It's a bit of a wait for results but try and do enjoyable things and rest, relax and recuperate. Wishing you all the best for your pathology. Xx Cath
melclarity
Member
9 years ago
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Hey Lisa!
Glad its all over and done and you are now home and recovering!!! Ohhhh I too was sick for 12hrs vomiting after surgery, it was worse than the surgery uuugh!!! Its a few weeks, but you can just focus on relaxing and recovering hopefully and yes then the results and see what's next. Wishing you good news!!! and yes generally youd have Rads even for DCIS but hey! think about that once that date comes! Glad for no swearing! I think too as things start to happen it makes it a bit easier as in not just waiting for everything and give you a sense of moving along. Big hugs Melinda xo
Lisa50
Member
9 years ago
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Thanks Mima
Just an update..I had my lumpectomy & 3 nodes removed yesterday...finally! It has been a loong wait, soo glad I have that part over.
Except for really horrible nausea all day yesterday post-op (couldn't even lift my head off pillow without vomiting) I am feeling reasonable today. Came home sore, battered & bruised but relieved. Just taking paracetamol. Now the waiting begins again..17th January for results! This will determine chemo, but I still have to have radiotherapy apparently.
I hope everyone is going ok with whatever stage they are up to. This is a really great place to come to 'chat'. You are all such amazing women!! :smiley:
Ps, no swearing in ages! :wink:
Mima
Member
9 years ago
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Hi @Lisa50
hope your surgery went well today
best of luck from here on in
cranky_granny
Member
9 years ago
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Welcome to BCNA Whatever we call THIS to get rid of our cancer, do not want it, or like it but we we have to to do. it just helps to know that we are not alone with BCNA being here for us. And Yep I shocked a few people when I swore out loud. I'm a cranky granny but never swore till now. It is easing off back to under my breath most of the time.
InkPetal
Member
9 years ago
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A recording of myself loading the dishwasher would be totally relevant here but would get me banned from the forums. :lol:
jacquipp
Member
9 years ago
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Hi Lisa. Swear away. Get those emotions out. I found there is so much frustration and anger and uncertainty that it can be hard to keep your head above water at times. You will have good days and bad days and days of nothing. I am 10 months down my "journey" and I still have days full of anger and depression over this thing invading my life. I hope your surgery goes well and you have a great team you can talk to and be confident in. Hugs

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