Being a Voice

Hey MandaMoo

Thank you for putting your thoughts and feelings out there.  I hope it helped you feel a bit better to get it out as I know it does for me to be able to share.

I could never begin to understand how you are feeling but in reading your post it made me cry and very sad but also very mad for you.  You have obviously been through so very very much and it is soooooooooo bloody unfair.  All I can say is I am so sorry you and your beautiful family are going through this.

I am one of the ones  who has just finished her 10 months of  treatment.  So I am an early BC survivor.  Yes we should be very grateful we are alive with hair or no hair.  I am sure we are all more than grateful we are alive and well but I also feel it is good for the soul to tell each other how we are feeling and to get it out and have a winge, bitch and whatever else we need to do because this is what this site is all about.  We all need this site both early and advance BC and it is great that we can all come together as one and share how we are feeling.  As you have done today.  I know I have learnt so much from all the ladies on here and everyone has supported me along the way.

You know what? If I was in your situation I would be bitter, angry, sad, scared and all those other things that must come with having advanced BC.  As I said I couldn't even begin to imagine.

I am glad though that you put up your post of how you are feeling.  I often think and feel how tough it must be and it scares the absolute crap out of me of recurrence and what may go with it.  I am doing everything in my power to get well, get fit, lose weight, stopping alcohol etc. etc. etc. as I can assure you I never want to go down the short path (compared to yourself) that I have just been down as I want to see my grandkids grow up and to see out the rest of my life together with my precious children and husband.  Unfortunately there is no guarantees in life though I am afraid.

I would be one of those people who would not get that look in their eye so as not to have to discuss death as it is definitely something you need to be able to do and to be prepared and know that you have left some beautiful and very special memories for your hubby and children.  Might be a silly question but have you done a video for them of yourself.  I am sure you have if you are a photographer.  I am sure this journey has certainly helped you look at your photography in a different light also.  I know I look at life totally different these days and cherish so many very small moments as I am sure you do also.

I am sure there is so many other ABC ladies who share your very thoughts about everything you have mentioned.  If only we could find that miracle cure to take this mongrel disease and shove it.

All I can say is I wish you well and that you can be as healthy as possible and as happy as possible.  Lots of love and hugs to you and your family.

LOL, Mich xoxo