BAD NEWS PLEASE HELP ABSOLUTELY DISTRAUGHT

Dear Sam,
I have been living with liver and bone mets for 4 1/2 years. Dr. Google gave me 8 months (!) so I know the panic you are currently feeling. Like you, I am Her2+ and ER+. While Her2 is considered aggressive, there are now a number of targeted therapies available which have meant far better outcomes for us. 
Everybody's treatment and response is different, but I had a course of chemo (Docetaxol) to shrink the mets, which worked pretty well. Since then I have been on Herceptin and Tamoxifen with relatively few side effects - stable now for 4 years. You will probably get Perjeta as well as the Herceptin as it is now standard of care for mets.
I hope you can work with your doctors to find an effective treatment plan - there is a lot of hope and support out there.
Best wishes..... Pam

Dear sam I'm in the same sitituion with two fighting and I'm in between and my family don't want to talk about it it's great if we could message I'm not good with technology I'm actually seeing my oncoligis Tuesday still get sooo scared my tumor markers are rising and bone scan in January but ha we can all fight this I thought I would never come to terms with it but we have to for ourselves and I relying on treatments to keep it going for years we all can do this together hope to hear from you seen thinking of you and don't forget you live years with this and say a pray every night love you

Angg66 
Are you able to tell me what treatments I can expect to be offered and the side effects. I think knowing a little information before I go may help me make an informed decision. Do you feel good?

Thank you so much all of you beautiful ladies. I just cant understand and get my head around this but I have to. I see my oncologist in the morning and will find out more. I opted seven months ago when diagnosed to have the surgery but no further treatment.  So I guess I told you so may be coming to me and I deserve this I wanted to pretend I was not sick but lost this war now......This monday I felt on such a high seeing my surgeon and getting the thumbs up then Friday learning mets were in my liver. Yesterday I suddenly got an exhaustion I have never felt, I got up went running felt great then in the afternoon I could not walk and I had to go to bed. This is not me.... I felt such fear and dread actually terror cursing through my body. Maybe it was the shock and stress as I am so dizzy and cannot eat anything and at 45 kilos I have to.
I just have to pull myself together but I have this feeling I have to hurry to write things down so my daughter and husband know how to do things that I do. Maybe this is an inbuilt mechanism in me like instinct.  You have helped me greatly all of you and I feel comfort from your words. Sammy1970 are we able to email each other or talk perhaps I think it would help me a great deal. I have not spoken to my 2 sisters for 14 years over the silliest things and feel so sad when I wrote a letter telling them of my illness but got nothing back. I would have liked to settle silly differences just for peace of mind. I need to fight this and I do want to live but Doctor Google tells me Her2 is agressive and when I read the percentages the fear rises again. But hugz to all that have said comforting words to me please know I truly appreciate it and feel I am not alone .  :) 

Hi there @sam09. Sorry to hear about your diagnosis. I also have liver (& bone) mets. I was diagnosed in April this year, so I understand how upsetting it is when you are first told - I was petrified and cried for a few weeks. So give yourself time to cry. But the best thing I did was speak to a counsellor and am now getting on with life. There are lots of ladies on this site that understand what you are going through. You are not alone. 

Ange xxx

Thinking of you stay beautiful lady I will be thinking of you xxxxxxxxxxx

Dear sam believe me you can do this I have secondary breast bone cancer for 4years I was soo scared and still are but I just live the treatments they have know are amazing I think as time goes on we just have to learn we have this horrible disease believe me I feel exactly as you but ha we can do it I pray every night I have an amazing breast nurse who is my best support 

Hi Sam.  I am very sorry to hear this news.  Yes it is devastating.  I was convinced I was going to die quickly when I received my metastatic news.  I had been having mammagrams every two years and that picked up nothing.  I had surgery to my cervical spine when they told me they found a tumour and they thought it was breast cancer.  My world was tipped upside down.  I have ER/PR+ HER2- so my treatment consists of Letrozole and Xvega.  I am not certain what your treatment will involve.  I hope that you have a great team looking after you.  It is all so overwhelming and crappy.  Do what you have to get through the next few months.  If staying home is what is good for you do it, if staying in bed is good for you do it, if being in denial is good for you do it..  Join the metastatic group on the BCNA network.  Try not to read Dr. Google (says me).  I am thinking of you and everyone else that is dealing with crap.
Love Sandra xxxxx

I see a lot of stress there.
It must be so frightening.

Your mind can't maintain that high-alert stress mode without damaging your health all over. 
Spare a few moments a day to take some slow controlled inhale and exhales. 

Inhale to 4, exhale to 4. Inhale to 6, exhale to 6. Inhale to 8, exhale to 8. Inhale to 8, exhale to 8.

Let your day have a few moments for your body to be loose in, to let that tension drop away before it knots in your muscles and starts to exhaust you. 
I really don't mean to sound patronising if I do, I'm not in your situation, but this has genuinely helped me in high-stress situations along the way.

Please keep us updated with how you're feeling and what is happening if you can find the time or energy.

Not panic stations just yet. There are treatments available to put the liver mets in check. Only get worried if the meds aren't working. I am not sure how life insurance works but you may be able to access your superannuation if you have some with a hardship letter from centerlink? Take a few breaths. You will get through this and we're here for you any time. <3