BAD NEWS PLEASE HELP ABSOLUTELY DISTRAUGHT

You guys are simply wonderful thank you it makes me feel not so alone. Today I did a lot of soul searching and research into the 3 drugs on offer. I lay awake all last night with my heart thumping through my chest and I thought perhaps I was going to have a heart attack. This immense feeling of dread and fear is doing me in I think.  I have sat through doctors today saying hurry lets start however the intense fear of chemo to the point of desperation even, has me thinking I will decline the chemo. 12 months of taxol every week I feel I could not poison my little body with it and no amount of trying to be positive is helping.  They tell me on the pet scan 11 weeks ago this wasnt evident to now 10 tumors on my liver 26 mm the biggest.  So ..... I can almost say I have decided against the chemo for sure, if I can have the herceptin alone I will maybe combine alternative with conventional to try to beat it  Does anyone know of anyone who has done this... I feel a little better even talking about eluding the chemo.