Hi Sam,
I'm sorry you had to be on the end of that comment. It sounds like you are a very loving and giving person. The trouble with that is you possibly expect others to be the same and as I've found out, people react very differently to cancer patients, especially family. Down the line your husband is probably either not going to remember what he said, or beat himself up about it! You'd just had a lovely time out and were happy, and those comments were a slap in the face. The counselling sounds a good plan, even if your husband or family didn't want to go, you will be better armoured as you sound a gentle sensitive soul. We probably all have at least one comment that sticks in our throat from family or friends. My sister's reaction to my diagnosis was 'well the chemo and radiation will kill you anyway'. Not what I wanted to hear. Later I got a sobbing apology. She has her issues and is not up to dealing with mine. I would have expected more as I would do anything for her, but that's not the way it is. I feel sad about it because I think ultimately she will beat herself up for distancing herself. But maybe not. I am learning that I can't control negative behaviour towards me, but I can control how I react. It still sucks that people aren't just kinder to each other. Well, they are here, so here is a good place to be. You are awesome, remember that. xxx
