Hi everyone, I finished treatment, nov 2018, and tried to get my life back 2019, I feel like I take 2 steps forward then 2 back, and my the end of 2019 was feeling totally deflated again, fatigued, weight gain, unfit, constant dry mouth from radiotherapy, I think. Chemo fog and a reversion back into extreme introversion. I feel like I don’t belong anywhere, and feel so on the outside of friendships, have lost contact with lots of people, well, as I do hate being the cancer woman!lots of people dropped off, and I find it so hard when I run into them, as I really can’t be bothered with small talk. Bloody cancer the gift that keeps on giving!

@Spillsy i was diagnosed late 2019 and I am currently undergoing chemo. I still have radiation and one year of Herceptin to get through but I can totally understand your feelings. My best friend is very stressed by my cancer and has stopped communicating with me. I don’t like going out because I feel everyone looks at me with pity because they know I have cancer due to my hair loss, and that makes me more depressed than my actual treatment.Like you @Spillsy, I am also constantly amazed how wonderful and supportive everyone on this network is, so many of you have finished active treatment but you are still logging on and offering advice and support to others. I feel like I have another online family. Thank you to all the wonderful women on this network.

Great word, @Spillsy - Discombobulated! I reckon everyone here can fully understand your emotions.The first year, we are kept so busy with all the appointments and treatments that you don’t have time to even scratch yourself, and your friends and family are (hopefully) usually supportive .... but then that support drops off (except for your buddies who’ve been thru it and know how it feels!)2nd year ... and you feel a bit abandoned, I think as well as a tad wary to ‘be happy again’?. Yep, I’ve whacked on a good 5kg in weight, but can’t be bothered with extra exercising to get it off .... I didn’t send Xmas cards out for 2 years as I was going thru biopsies both times and seriously couldn’t be bothered, so sent them out this year (well, emails to most!) explaining my silence. I am lucky in having 2 ‘passions’ that keep me busy... what are your hobbies? Are there any groups in town that you can join to share your love of that hobby? This in turn will create new friendships, who don’t have to know your BC history, unless you want to share it with them. Small steps, deep breaths, maybe try something ‘totally new’ (I recommend ukulele! ;) ) I can send you any songs you like!Take care ... all the best xx

It takes time to pick up your life and regain your energy and feel part of things again.Maybe in a few weeks look at an Encore program to get some fitness back.I looked at my diet as I was carrying a lot of weight. Check out Michael Moseleys Fast800 and have a read. It's based on all the good stuff we really should be eating and the books have some great easy recipe. Weirdly focussing on my health and fitness and not my illness gave me new things to talk about with others and basically gave me something else to think about than cancer and treatment.

@Spillsy, I hear you! I only stopped treatment (radiation) in August 2019 and the specialist appts in December 2019. I am still navigating my way in this new world, I feel lost sometimes and like a misfit. At the end of treatment, I felt so different to the old me that I was sure I was losing my mind, I kept withdrawing and was introverted for the first time in my life I think! Frankly it was scary.I lost a few friends along this path - not bothered, gained a few new ones from Breast Clinic - awesome ladies, so grateful to have found them.I have taken the advice from the previous posters about concentrating on my diet, I lost 14 kgs during treatment and everyone keeps negatively commenting but Im just eating better and less, would like to put on a couple of kilo especially on my skinny legs lol but maybe later.I cherish the good days or moments when I feel like a normal person and some days they just aren't there. I put myself first a lot now which took a bit of getting used to. I think it will be a slow process, I still slide down into dark places but with the help of a great pyschologist and the ladies on this forum, I feel much more at peace and seem to get through those times better. I hope things pick up for you soon, know that we are all cheering you on xx

Hi everyone, I went to a paint and sip evening last night, and it was the best therapy. This was my effort of ‘ Picasso’ dove in a Van Gogh style... as the artist teacher put it! Everyone else’s was all smooth colours and tones, so I reckon this was my discombobulated version

Still feeling discombobulated! | BCNA Online Network

33 Replies

AnnieMichelle_1
Member
2 years ago
Thanks so much @julez1958....thanks for your encouraging words and I agree that energy can be expended on those not around and instead, to focus on gratitude and and being open to new people in our lives. That is a wonderful reframe. Many thanks
Julez1958
Member
2 years ago
Hi @AnnieMichelle_123
It is a sad fact that on top of the physical and emotional toll from breast cancer some of those you thought you could rely on “ go missing” either physically or emotionally.
But on the other have some people do really step up and hopefully you will make some new buddies along the way.
I have a friend who is a retired nurse and she has been really amazing - we have become much closer as a result of my diagnosis and she calls me after any significant medical appointments ( and even not so significant ones).
I hope that in time thinks will settle for you - I found it was just a waste of my energy to fret about those who went missing - I try to concentrate on the good things in my life .
Take care🌺
AnnieMichelle_1
Member
2 years ago
Wow! It is very comforting to read your responses and see the beautiful posts of support. I have got through surgery and radiotherapy and one month into hormone blockers. It has been a road of five months so far. I am in a terrific rehab programme and meeting women also affected by breast cancer.
I am still transitioning into a new way of being and relating in the world. I have changed and used to be very social but now I have social fatigue especially in noisy cafes and intense conversations. The other day, I met an old friend for brunch. She has missed me and as a result, took over the conversation and unfortunately it was very one sided. She didn't want to talk about the cancer and the journey. I left feeling fatigued and not heard. Have others experienced this before?
arpie
Member
6 years ago
Woohoo!! I haven't got any set dates yet @Spillsy . @JoeyLiz ..... I need to work out my uke gig commitments & any Dr stuff ... then hope to be down there for4-5 days ..... and need to ok them with our owner friends!! Keen to meet up if we can - it could be a mini social!! xx

How was your Launceston visit @Spillsy ? I was there a few years back, mainly for kayak fishing with a couple of buddies! I had a ball!! I loved St Helens and Ansons Bay & Scammander ..... good fun in my fishing kayak!
Spillsy
Member
6 years ago
And me!!!! V interested, when are u visiting?
JoeyLiz
Member
6 years ago
@arpie oh I do love Binnalong!
arpie
Member
6 years ago
I hope to be down at Binnalong in March ..... is that too far to arrange a gathering?? ;)
Spillsy
Member
6 years ago
Hello lovely,
great to hear from you.
i have let the fitness/exercise slip and know it should be a priority, then tiredness slips back in, i was doing well mid year, and feeling like I was making progress.
good luck for your interview.
i am off to Launceston tomorrow, but would love to catch up later this week.
C
JoeyLiz
Member
6 years ago
@Spillsy Hello my dear friend! I was only thinking the other day we were overdue for a lunch date to catch up!
As some of the other lovely ladies have suggested finding a new focus might help, i myself have joined a gym in a hope to get my fitness up and I'm finding I miss it when I don't go (I have never before said that about exercise!)
But I think you may have found your calling in art, your painting was fantastic, keep it up.
I have an interview tomorrow but text me when your free and we will book in a date soon xx
arpie
Member
6 years ago
That is awesome, @Spillsy - I can't even draw a straight line!! :( We have my husband's art all over the house!! ;)