Feel the need to withdraw from family
Hi All. I'm 4 months post active radiation treatment and on hormone therapy and Venlafaxine.
When I was diagnosed my husband was in hospital with an undiagnosed illness. In fact, my husband is always sick or injured or tired or something. I battled on and went through the diagnosis and treatment by myself for the 3 months. I didn't really ask for help with anything. I run horses on my property and kept working full time plus I had my 1 year old grandson living with me. It was a full on time.
The reason i didn't ask for help is because I sort of expected it to be offered. I really should have known better because it was clearly absent. I listen to alot of the podcasts from BCA and the overwhelming theme is lots of support etc etc. I don't feel like I had that support but I tried to convince myself otherwise.
Over the last week however, I feel like I just want to withdraw from everyone that really should have helped but didn't; husband, kids, friends. Those whose response was 'well so and so had breast cancer and she's okay now' ....great, that isn't me. Kids who left me to look after their toddlers or watched as I lugged buckets of feed up and down a hill (the day I got out of hospital from lumpectomy). The only time I asked for something was when I was really, really tired from the radiotherapy and I asked someone to drive me. Hubbie drove me but made such a deal about it I wish I hadn't.
Come to the conclusion that actually going through cancer treatment and learning to deal with being a survivor is easier on my own. Then I won't feel at all disappointed.
When I was diagnosed my husband was in hospital with an undiagnosed illness. In fact, my husband is always sick or injured or tired or something. I battled on and went through the diagnosis and treatment by myself for the 3 months. I didn't really ask for help with anything. I run horses on my property and kept working full time plus I had my 1 year old grandson living with me. It was a full on time.
The reason i didn't ask for help is because I sort of expected it to be offered. I really should have known better because it was clearly absent. I listen to alot of the podcasts from BCA and the overwhelming theme is lots of support etc etc. I don't feel like I had that support but I tried to convince myself otherwise.
Over the last week however, I feel like I just want to withdraw from everyone that really should have helped but didn't; husband, kids, friends. Those whose response was 'well so and so had breast cancer and she's okay now' ....great, that isn't me. Kids who left me to look after their toddlers or watched as I lugged buckets of feed up and down a hill (the day I got out of hospital from lumpectomy). The only time I asked for something was when I was really, really tired from the radiotherapy and I asked someone to drive me. Hubbie drove me but made such a deal about it I wish I hadn't.
Come to the conclusion that actually going through cancer treatment and learning to deal with being a survivor is easier on my own. Then I won't feel at all disappointed.
