Pacitaxol and taste loss

@Sister I think it's OK if you meander on the same topic as the person who started the thread!

I'm still recovering from Saturday night... Shattered is a good word. Hang in there everybody. K xox

@spillsy the great thing to know is it doesn't last thank goodness, mine came back around 3 weeks post chemo. Though I admit it changed some things forever, I'd be lucky to enjoy a wine now every few months. I loved a red wine with my meal sometimes, chemo killed that lol. Thankfully though food wise everything went back to normal. x

It's true you really do get sick of yourself.  I found it somewhat helpful to put a breast cancer talk ban on at any social gathering and that included myself.  Everyone could ask me how I was at the start of the night and then that was it.  i'd grab my glass of wine and we would talk about anything but that.  Everybody just treated me the same, there was no need not to.  I agree with the future planning thing @Sister. I had that for a little bit.  But it does pass once you start to feel a bit more human again.

xoxoxoxo

I've meandered.  Must stop it.

Absolutely get it @spillsy.  I've had surgery, AC, and about to have dose 4 of taxol, then rads, then hormone therapy. I'm fed up with myself - completely over it.  Friends came over on the weekend - ones I've known since I was 18 (so that's nearly 37 years) - and while I had a lovely time, by the end I was shattered.  The whole time, I felt a bit disconnected from the conversation.  I don't know if that's exhaustion, some sort of PTSD issue, or just that there's nothing going on in my life but cancer.  And all of the time, when conversation turned to celebrations in the distant future, sneaky, awful, little thoughts weaselling their way into my mind of whether I would be around for these future events.  We've already lost one of our number, very quickly, to bc a few years ago.

We get you, don't worry. Hang in there. Big bear hug, Kate xox

Thanks, for your comments and support I know I started this thread about taste, but I am really fed up of having BC, it’s worn me down and I have still such a long way to go.

@Spillsy I've read that it's common to feel disconnected from your old life when you try to go back to it, that you are more serious than before. However I've also read that it passes. At a royal wedding gathering of only six, including three good friends, I felt distant and sombre. It wasn't distressing as such, but it wasn't a wonderful feeling. I sincerely hope it passes.

After six months I'm so tired of myself when it comes to my health! Surely everyone else must be bored... I type this sitting in a GP waiting room, about to see a doctor because my mastectomy & recon incisions are infected. Gargh! Will anything go smoothly again?? Now when people ask me, except for my closest friends, I just say I'm doing OK, or I'm getting there and leave it at that.

I regard my BC as a four quarter match. It's three quarter time now. I've had the diagnosis, wide local excision and re-excision. Then it was chemo. Followed by the BMX & recon. Next week heralds the start of the last and longest quarter, the 10 years of AI. I will not consider myself done with this f****r until the day after that last pill is taken, 2nd June, 2028. The day after that is my birthday. Now THAT will be a party.

Hey @Spillsy - I had surgery first so I'm also a third of the way there, just a different third. Don't feel you need to put on the brave cancer lady face - there's so much pressure on people to be 'brave' and 'strong' - and by whose definition? Don't worry about telling people you feel like crap if you do - if anyone feels uncomfortable hearing that, it's their problem not yours. If getting out of bed every morning is the best that you can do, and you're doing it, then you're doing A-OK in my books. Telling people how really awful it can be makes it more real and in my opinion, will make it easier for people to understand. You can rant away to your heart's content here - this is such a supportive place. Glad to hear your work buddies are doing the right thing. Hang in there - as someone very wise on this forum said not so long ago - this too shall pass. xxxxx

Thanks, agree with you totally,  food is so much part of my life, I love cooking and entertaining  ( thought not done much of that either as too tired !) and it’s like torture after 5.5 months of taste disturbances , i feel like my teeth are about to fall out.... I can’t wait until I can taste  nice food again.  I still have surgery and radio to go, but in three weeks, I will have completed the first bit of my breast cancer triathlon!!! Friends keep thinking it all over, after this six months... I am also finding it hard to relate to my old friends as only someone who has been put through this bloody mixer will appreciate how bloody awful it really is, day in, day out.  I really fucking hate cancer. I think people avoid me in the street, and I must admit I do avoid bumping into people too, as I can’t really say how I feel and I have to put on the brave cancer lady face.
I don’t know how I am ever going to function normally with a group of friends/ aquaintances again, sorry for the rant but I feel this is a very lonely ‘ journey ‘ or place to be. 
My only saving grace is work people have been great, and treat me as they did before, well nearly.