Emotional rollercoaster

What you are feeling @Marina1976, is totally normal.  It has happened to all of us at one stage or another xx. The emotional upheaval of the whole thing (from D Day - Diagnosis Day) on .....  can muck with your brain and your sleep & then it sort of 'piles on' ... 

Listening to the Charlotte Tottman Podcasts may be beneficial too ... she is a BC counsellor who was diagnosed about 5 years ago & had a double mastectomy, choosing to remain flat.  She found that her own emotions were way different to what she'd been expecting, given her years of counseling others going thru the same thing.
You can listen to her Podcasts here, from D Day on:
http://www.drcharlottetottman.com.au/my-podcast.html

If you feel a tad overwhelmed at any time, maybe consider giving our Helpline a call on 1800 500 258, for a Private Chat.  Just talking to someone 'real' can really help xx

Also check out this post with lots of 'general' info about the forum .... there are some 'tick sheets' down the bottom that you can use to 'self assess' your physical and mental recovery ... sometimes it is easier to take a copy with you to show your 'team' than to actually talk about it xx
https://onlinenetwork.bcna.org.au/discussion/23477/a-big-welcome-to-all-new-online-network-members#latest

take care & know that you are not alone in this.  

@Marina1976. The emotions are a bit all over the place at the start. Though it hasn’t stopped entirely for me. After 7 years on the blockers I still have them especially when other things crowd in on top.