Who me ?

Oncologist wants to throw everything she has at me because of the HER2 positive.

:(

Startng chemo next Tuesday plus Herceptin, radiation after the 6 weeks of chemo, with Herceptin for the year then endocrine therapy at some point (We'll discuss that later when this lot has sunk in ! she said)

I've had a good cry. I know that in the scheme of things I'm still a lucky bunny with a tiny tumour that for the moment has all been removed - but today I am once again very VERY frightened of the possibilities. I want to know and understand why this has happened,  and I know that question has no answer. And the next one - will it happen again and will it kill me ? has no answer either. I know you all ask those too, I know some of you have a big YES for the last one and my heart is breaking for you. We humans can get to the moon, we have sent a craft out into deep space - but we can't find a cure for a disease that is KILLING US !!!!!

Not looking forward to losing my hair btw, it' s been looking really good lately, shit. Does it take long to grow back ? I really hope that the chemo doesn't give me headaches - I have just got on top of my migraines for the first time in years. Wouldn't that be ironic.

Sorry folks, self pitying rant over. I will put my positive hat back on.I might need a hat actually, not sure how I will look in a wig :P

I'm hanging in girls, thanks for the love.

Keitha

 

Oh Julie - what a prospect, I am thinking of you girl, good luck with all that.

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Wow - had a fab time ! The weather was kind to us, it was cold but not wet, a little windy but ok. I spent the first afternoon with my eldest son and his gf and then had dinner with them before the show which was excellent.  The hotel was fine with a great breakfast included. My youngest son had a wonderful evening with some friends and then we spent yesterday at Scienceworks and then shopping ! He loved doing that too ! We found some very interesting shops - it's always fun in another city where there are shops you don't have at home. We had some nice food, we laughed a lot, it was an all round good time.

Wouldn't it be good if it was holidays all the time - I would love that. *sigh*

Back to the real world now. Oncologist and radiation set up next week. Wish me luck.

Keitha

Oh Julie - what a prospect, I am thinking of you girl, good luck with all that.

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Wow - had a fab time ! The weather was kind to us, it was cold but not wet, a little windy but ok. I spent the first afternoon with my eldest son and his gf and then had dinner with them before the show which was excellent.  The hotel was fine with a great breakfast included. My youngest son had a wonderful evening with some friends and then we spent yesterday at Scienceworks and then shopping ! He loved doing that too ! We found some very interesting shops - it's always fun in another city where there are shops you don't have at home. We had some nice food, we laughed a lot, it was an all round good time.

Wouldn't it be good if it was holidays all the time - I would love that. *sigh*

Back to the real world now. Oncologist and radiation set up next week. Wish me luck.

Keitha

Hi Keitha

Yes, the depression seems to catch us at times. Me.... was just last weekend.Couldn't stop crying for some stupid reason. I felt like a freak, looked like a freak and my body feels like a freak. When will all this end?

Body, mind and spirit had a real low.

But, then you seem to get out of it, and just keep on going.

I visited the Radiologist yesterday to talk about the next plan of "attack" after I finish chemo. I have to have 30 sessions of radiation.... I just cringed at the thought of soooo many. Why do we need to have our poor bodies go through all this.... it's just unfair.

Thinking .... is this normal to have so many? Or this is just the norm with us girls?

But, deep down I know this is all to be done, so we can survive for MANY years to come.

Glad, you are staying with your eldest son, it should be great. Hope you have nice warmer weather, as it has been quite cold there lately. Have a great time...... you totally deserve the rest and break.

Love Julie XX

 

1.30 and here I am again.

Today is a good day. I WAS depressed yesterday - it just all piles up sometimes I think and seems so f***ing pointless.

Had a good chat today with a very long ago friend who I learned had BC about 8 years ago - lump out then mastectomy / chemo / Tamox and afterwards managed to struggle through a marriage break up (just what you need !) BUT she is fine. Loving life, doing everything she wants to do, sharing her story, just getting on with it. It helped a lot. I don't know why it makes me feel better knowing someone else has had it, I spose KNOWING someone and that they are a survivor makes it more real. I will be glad to get on with the treatment I must say - once again, the waiting. . .

I heard from my eldest son's gf today and I'll be spending Tuesday with them when I get to Melb !!  Yayyy !! Haven't seen him for a while so that's a real treat.

Thanks girls.

Love to all

Keitha

1.30 and here I am again.

Today is a good day. I WAS depressed yesterday - it just all piles up sometimes I think and seems so f***ing pointless.

Had a good chat today with a very long ago friend who I learned had BC about 8 years ago - lump out then mastectomy / chemo / Tamox and afterwards managed to struggle through a marriage break up (just what you need !) BUT she is fine. Loving life, doing everything she wants to do, sharing her story, just getting on with it. It helped a lot. I don't know why it makes me feel better knowing someone else has had it, I spose KNOWING someone and that they are a survivor makes it more real. I will be glad to get on with the treatment I must say - once again, the waiting. . .

I heard from my eldest son's gf today and I'll be spending Tuesday with them when I get to Melb !!  Yayyy !! Haven't seen him for a while so that's a real treat.

Thanks girls.

Love to all

Keitha

Hi Keitha

Here, here, I so agree. So many people have soooo much money and are greedy. 

As they say - LIFE IS A BITCH. But its not fair.

Not just us having BC and young women dying from this horrible disease. But children who also suffer from their diseases and have their lives cut even shorter. Its just not fair. I get so upset when I hear that a little life has been cut short . How sad. :(

So horribly sad, but we just keep fighting

Julie XX

 

 

I have learned so much in these past few weeks and not the least of these is how lucky I am.

Even though I am afraid of this disease, if I could swap what I have with one of our younger sisters with ABC, I would - in a heartbeat. I have at least had the joy of watching my children grow into adults, I've seen one married, I've had a LIFE. If there was a way to swap my elder years for someone else to have that chance then I would do it.

It's not fair - why do those beautiful girls have to die so soon ? It's not right.

When we see all the millions spent around the world on movie stars and sports people and by millionaires on goldplated bathrooms doesn't it make you cry ? Couldn't they pour  all that into finding a cure ? Surely someone somewhere could find a cure if they had enough people and enough money to fund the research ? What's wrong with the world ?

It's too depressing.

:(

Keitha

 

buy up big girl , retial therapy is a great happiness pill. 

goodluck with what ever treatment you have , and it is normal to be a bit flat, we have all been there. and it is a normal reaction to an abnormal situation. 

 

we are all here for you.fran

buy up big girl , retial therapy is a great happiness pill. 

goodluck with what ever treatment you have , and it is normal to be a bit flat, we have all been there. and it is a normal reaction to an abnormal situation. 

 

we are all here for you.fran