Things i need
So its day 7 post round 2.After another day of analysis by those nearest and dearest I have awoken with an epiphany.
So my other half keep's saying "oh you re bottling it up. You re stressed.you need to talk to someone" since the second we discovered this pain in the ass. This happens about 3-4 times a day. (Have you ever realised that sometimes you re told something so much you start to believe it?)
So this has turned into more of a battle to a certain extent than anything else. My background was working in a high level a & e dept. Now that s stress and I can t even begin to discuss what we dealt with there on a daily basis.!!
I'm a fairly stubborn strong willed person.don t get me wrong i m just as terrified as you are that all this treatment might be for nothing. But I have realised this morning I have been fighting the wrong fight since being diagnosed. I ve been fighting my family to convince them I m not stressed and I don t need to speak to professionals. I need to fight this disease.
So, with that in mind. I have a list of needs to help me get through this. I need hugs, I need to have positive people around me (moupers just go away, you re draining me), I need fun, singing, dirty jokes, sarcasm, cups of tea, cream cakes yum, my kids being daft and having fun, fresh air, exercise, food, a holiday plan!!
I do not need to be patronized, told i m stressed every too seconds, told i m doing too much when all i want to do is catch up on some uni notes, smothered, or be treated like a leaper.
I m still Maggi. I m still here in a baldy more aggressivswearing more form. But it s still me. I still like being sarcastic and inappropriately funny. I still take pride in my appearance which is why losing my hair broke my heart. But it was a good thing to cry about it..i should not be getting told my reaction was inappropriate. I ve had my hair all my life. It ll come back no doubt curlier and wilder but i miss her. More than my titty let me tell you...but we ll get there.
Just people, chill and stop judging me.if i m not ok i will say. Yes I ve got/had cancer its cut out.chemo sucks but i need you all to support me and say...christ you re doing well not are you finding it difficult do you think you re coping?not productive people.
Be happy be positive be strong..most of all be true to yourself