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sandyb's avatar
sandyb
Member
15 years ago

Thank you

I want to start by saying i know my partner is not likely to read what i say here but i have said it to him as well, i would just like it out there somewhere to acknowledge just what he has been through with me.

We met in July 2006 and our world seemed like a really happy place, all was going nicely when in December 2006 my 26 year old son passed away while playing a game of cricket, to say i was completely devasted would be an understatement, my partner stuck by me putting up with alot of baggage (it took until October 2007 before the coroners office issued a death certificate with a cause). It took me a very long time to deal with life without my son, and all along he was there as my shoulder to lean on.

Gradually we put our lives back together and started to make plans for our future, when in 2009 i found a lump in my right breast, after test it was diagnosed as a cist and we breathed easy again. When i found a lump in the same spot in December 2010 i thought hey it is just another cist i will deal with it after christmas.

After our holiday i went to my doctor who sent me for tests again but this time the news came it was breast cancer, telling my partner was one of the hardest things because he had wanted to come with me to the doctor but i had told him not to bother it will just be a cist again.

His work and mine have been brillant, he has had days off to come with me for all my tests and both my operations. With out him i don't know what kind of mess i would have been in. The nicest thing he has ever said to me was the night of first operation when he sat at my bedside saying he did not want to leave me at the hospital alone.

He is still here listening to me feel sorry for myself, whinge about all the appointments i have to go to and yes sometimes taking it all out on him. For that i say thank you Brendon.

P.S. Thanks for indulging me and letting me put it on here

8 Replies

  • TonyaM's avatar
    TonyaM
    Member
    15 years ago

    Hi Sandy,

    Thanks for sharing your story.I think a life crisis can make or break a relationship.My husband of 32yrs has been my rock.We are lucky to have such wonderful men supporting us.I was so sorry to hear about your son.I have daughters that age and I cannot begin to imagine losing one. I have met so many women who tell a  story of holding in grief and stress a few years prior to getting breast cancer.I hope you are through your treatments now and can move on to a happy life with Brenden.

                                               Tonya xx

                                   

  • TonyaM's avatar
    TonyaM
    Member
    15 years ago

    Hi Sandy,

    Thanks for sharing your story.I think a life crisis can make or break a relationship.My husband of 32yrs has been my rock.We are lucky to have such wonderful men supporting us.I was so sorry to hear about your son.I have daughters that age and I cannot begin to imagine losing one. I have met so many women who tell a  story of holding in grief and stress a few years prior to getting breast cancer.I hope you are through your treatments now and can move on to a happy life with Brenden.

                                               Tonya xx

                                   

  • Leonie_Moore's avatar
    Leonie_Moore
    Member
    15 years ago

    Thanks for sharing your story Sandy.  It made a tear drop down my cheek.  (Must be the chemo again!!!!!)  Yes you are very blessed to have Brendan and he you.  Life is so different for all of us.  Some people just glide through and others find the real meaning of life.  We here on this site all know life's meaning and treasure it.  I too have a wonderful husband.  We had been together for 9 years when I was first diagnosed.  We married exactly a  year after the  diagnosis.  It is the best decision I have ever made.  He is with me through thick and thin.  I was just thinking last night how much quality time we are now spending together. (I am confined to home due to illness from the present chemo treatment)  My husband gets home at around 3.30pm so we just relax and talk.  When I was working I would not get home until at least 6.30pm by which time he was pretty sick of being on his own and wanting dinner then off to bed.  So there are always good things to come out of bad.  Who else would sit in my hospital room all gloved, masked and gowned up for 2 hours whilst the nursing staff whinged at having to do it for 5 minutes??  Your story just reminded me how lucky I am to have him.  I am glad you told your husband how much you appreciated him.  They are precious - did I say that ? XLeonie 

  • Leonie_Moore's avatar
    Leonie_Moore
    Member
    15 years ago

    Thanks for sharing your story Sandy.  It made a tear drop down my cheek.  (Must be the chemo again!!!!!)  Yes you are very blessed to have Brendan and he you.  Life is so different for all of us.  Some people just glide through and others find the real meaning of life.  We here on this site all know life's meaning and treasure it.  I too have a wonderful husband.  We had been together for 9 years when I was first diagnosed.  We married exactly a  year after the  diagnosis.  It is the best decision I have ever made.  He is with me through thick and thin.  I was just thinking last night how much quality time we are now spending together. (I am confined to home due to illness from the present chemo treatment)  My husband gets home at around 3.30pm so we just relax and talk.  When I was working I would not get home until at least 6.30pm by which time he was pretty sick of being on his own and wanting dinner then off to bed.  So there are always good things to come out of bad.  Who else would sit in my hospital room all gloved, masked and gowned up for 2 hours whilst the nursing staff whinged at having to do it for 5 minutes??  Your story just reminded me how lucky I am to have him.  I am glad you told your husband how much you appreciated him.  They are precious - did I say that ? XLeonie 

  • ShirlO's avatar
    ShirlO
    Member
    15 years ago

    Those of us who are blessed with wonderful supportive partners are so lucky.  I don't think I would have got through the past year and a bit without the unconditional and unselfish love and support I received at home..... my man was (and is) my rock. 

    Some men's reactions when faced with the knowledge that their partner has been diagnosed with breast cancer leave a lot to be desired.... they either wilt under the pressure of it all or accept what is happening and deal with it. 

    Our love and thanks go the the "stayers" ......

    Cheers .... Shirl xx

  • moira1's avatar
    moira1
    Member
    15 years ago

    hi sandy, thank you for not only sharing your story with us, but sharing your appreciation to your husband, bc and everything that goes with it affect now only us but those close to us. some of us are really lucky to have husbands who support us, through it all and the after effects.  so well done Brendon if you ever read this you obviously know what a wonderful partner you have.

    Regards moira

  • moira1's avatar
    moira1
    Member
    15 years ago

    hi sandy, thank you for not only sharing your story with us, but sharing your appreciation to your husband, bc and everything that goes with it affect now only us but those close to us. some of us are really lucky to have husbands who support us, through it all and the after effects.  so well done Brendon if you ever read this you obviously know what a wonderful partner you have.

    Regards moira

  • moira1's avatar
    moira1
    Member
    15 years ago

    hi sandy, thank you for not only sharing your story with us, but sharing your appreciation to your husband, bc and everything that goes with it affect now only us but those close to us. some of us are really lucky to have husbands who support us, through it all and the after effects.  so well done Brendon if you ever read this you obviously know what a wonderful partner you have.

    Regards moira