It's been a while

Hi all - It has been a while - about 4 weeks since I found out that the early breast cancer had spread to my lungs, skin and another node and what a ride!  I wish I had enjoyed rollercoasters as a kid - I may have been better prepared for this.  

I've had 3 treatments so far - my cocktail is Navlebine (vinerelbine) and Herceptin +2 tablets daily which are either Everolimus or placebo.  For what it is worth I think I am getting placebo.  At least I am getting the Navelbine - did you know that the Government won't subsidise the use of navelbine and herceptin together for breast cancer?  What a croc!  It is a fairly standard first treatment for secondary cancer in the the US!  Only taxotere and Herceptin are approved to be used together and taxotere didn't work for me!

I am tolerating the weekly treatment well.  The side effects are minimal - a bit of indigestion/nausea the evening of the treatment but nothing I need to take meds for.  I guess I am a little tired but not needing to sleep extra either.  I have just been out walking the dogs and taking my 4 year old son for a ride on his bike and feel fine.  Last weekend my Husband took me to Sydney and we climbed the Harbour Bridge!  To be honest - if not for the scans I would have no idea that there was cancer inside my body.  On the upside the skin lesion appears to be shrinking and reducing in it's redness so i am hopeful that it is melting the tumours in my lungs and node away.  I have a followup scan on the 15th of August.  Had a scare with the bone scan showing "warm spots" but as my PET was clear they believe it is chemo induced inflammation showing on the bone scan - phew! Would like to keep the number of fronts that this disease is showing to as few as possible for now.

Day to day life has been a little difficult.  I am running the gammut of finding people to help me through this - they have told me it is incurable, it is a chronic disease that we will aim to control.  I still have hope that control for me can be "no evidence of disease" for a long time.  I am seeing a wonderful counselor at the Gawler Foundation, have seen a psychiatrist which I also found helpful and then a couple of psychologists (yeah - overkill but I didn't know who would work for me) - the first psychologist was a disaster so I am glad I now have a couple of "professionals" in the field to help.  I have changed my diet to a primarily vegan one - I am not finding it difficult.  I am having Fish a couple of times a week, I'm juicing 7 times a day. I know it is not proven but I feel there is some evidence of it working for some people so it may help me.  I am learning to meditate and dedicating a number of hours to that a day.  I am also trying to find a complementary health practitioner that is willing to work with my medical team to support it - so far I haven't had success.  I spoke with an Intergrated medicine dr yesterday and he suggested I hide any treatments he would give me from my oncologist - this is just not my modis operandi so the search continues.  

I have signed up to learn Qi Gong and am spending quality time with my kids and family and reevaluating my purpose in this life.  It sounds like I have been busy - it's not as crazy as it sounds - I just feel a need to address the body, mind, movement, energy and nutrition in managing this disease.  In the process I have met some amazing people and some with amazing stories - I refuse to give up hope that I can be one of those stories too.  I know that this will take time - it's not a "happen overnight" scenario and there are likely to be more hurdles but I aim to have my mind and body in the place to deal with them best.

I have had some pretty "blue" days still -perhaps even "black" but I am a pretty determined chickie.  Chemo day is hard - the ward is depressing and my younger daughter has really been struggling with anxiety and fear - lots of tears and tummy aches - it breaks my heart to be putting my family through this and it makes me more determined to get through to another side of this.  It's been done before and I live with the hope that I can do it too.

 

A big thank you to those of you who have me in their thoughts and prayers and are sending me positive energy.  I genuinely feel it and plan to "give back" even more.