I found that wall

Today I took the day off my intensive workshop and I did nothing all day except talk on the phone, sit on Facebook and I finished my Honours application.

I thought I would get into the swing of scarves and things so I wore a scarf around my head.  I kind of like the feeling so I might continue to wear them so that it won't be so much of a shock when I have to.

In my travels online this morning I came across this shop.
http://www.hatshow.com.au/

They have the cotton beanies that I have been looking for and I love some of the scarves and the fringes.  I think I am going to have a wardrobe of head wear soon.

I am getting impatient now to go and see the oncologist so that I know what I'm in for next.  I don't trust the office staff at his rooms because they have already mucked me about with appointments twice.  Can anyone tell me whether he will request blood tests or anything that I can do between now and then to speed the process up?  I don't want to have waited a month to see him and then find that he needs more information.

Today my mother insisted on potting some Agapanthus that I have been given.  My uncle lives on Mt Tamborine behind the Gold Coast and the agapanthus are growing wild in the bush near him.  Someone has obviously dumped them and they've taken off.  I just love blue flowers, any variety so I'm thrilled to bits to have aggies everywhere in the ground and in big pots. 

So Janey, I've been very good today, I relaxed and I even had a sleep this afternoon for 2 hours.

Cas

Thanks Elizebeth,  (unusual spelling, I like it)
It is possibly a seroma.  I'm supposed to be sitting around like a couch potato but I don't do sitting around withouta fight so I have been travelling to Brisbane each day and busting my butt in a journalism workshop for  4 days so far with another 2 to go.  I'm ok in the morning, I wear very soft sports bras each day with my light posthetic.  I'm fine until about 4pm then I have to take the bra off.  As of Friday I can have several days of rest before my first oncology appointment on Wednesday.  Not a chemo appointment just the pre chemo appointment to decide what to do.  My greatest worry is my uni work and trying to stay on schedule.  I've studied for almost 4 ye,ars I'm 14 weeks from finishing and now this.  I'm not happy about having breast cancer but I'm damn well not beaten by any means.  At least I have good reason for going grey?  

Thanks for thinking of me, I'm constantly amazed at the comraderie and empathy shown by the lovely ladies here.
Cas

Thanks Jenny,

You're right, this is a crappy disease and so is living with it and the fallout.  I'm determined to write about it but I'm battling an editor who doesn't understand and wants me to formulate it in a tried and true news format.  I don't really want to but as a journo I have less say than I do with my cancer treatment.

I also ate something that doesn't agree with me.  So suffering through that as well.

Cas x

Thanks Jenny,

You're right, this is a crappy disease and so is living with it and the fallout.  I'm determined to write about it but I'm battling an editor who doesn't understand and wants me to formulate it in a tried and true news format.  I don't really want to but as a journo I have less say than I do with my cancer treatment.

I also ate something that doesn't agree with me.  So suffering through that as well.

Cas x

Loving your wit Cas.....made me laugh out loud!

Gotta laugh battling this crappy disease or we will all go batty hey?

I had seroma under my arm.....had it drained twice and all good now....I was told to not do too much too but.......it's tricky hey?

Good luck with the rest of your week

Jenny x

I still don't know whether I should have gone the double mastectomy or not.  My surgeon is of the opinion if it's not broke don't fix it.  I just have to take his advice and trust that it is right.  My grandmother died of breast cancer but there is no incidences of it in my mother's generation so I'm told that it isn't close enough a relation for me to worry that I inherited a gene problem.  Therefore it is somewhat unlikely that the cancer will travel to or form in the other breast (his words not mine).

It's the waiting that drives you batty isn't it?  I could have gone to the oncologist on the 8th of this month but I had workshop booked for months prior and I was going to that come hell or high water.  Next available appointment is the 22nd.  That's just for initial consult so probably more waiting for treatment if any.  I hate the waiting and the thought that the health system is so full of people suffering breast cancer.  It is just horrendous.

I'll be here to chat to any time you want.  We might as well wait it out together hey?
Cas x

OK Mum, I will go and see my GP on Thursday after work unless it gets worse before then.  It isn't too bad this morning.  I know I should behave and rest and do what I'm told but I've never done that :)
So.....today is day four of my six day journalism intensive and I can take anything I want to it, cushions, cold packs, go bra-less, no one bats an eyelid.  Thank god for these people who see and report hardships in all the different manifestations of the word.  They are holding my mind together while my body misbehaves.  The worst part is the hour in the train each way.  Good going there, it's a 8.30am train and only half full, coming home at 4.30pm is another story but I can do a "I'm going to collapse if you don't give me your seat" look quite well now.

My son, for all my whinging about him at times doesn't drink, smoke or hang out with horrible people.  I could have done far worse.

I'll see about getting a thermometre.  Maybe they will loan me one?
Cas xx (more hugs for you Janey, you keep on my case all you want)