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MareeB-65's avatar
MareeB-65
Member
11 years ago

How to keep going

Hello. This is my first post after getting up the courage to do so. I was diagnosed 18 months ago with grade 3 micropapillary breast cancer, 1.5cm tumour with a micromet in the sentinel node but no further spread. Had 6 months of chemo followed by radiation. I found the treatment far more tolerable than the mental anguish about fear of reoccurrence I am going through now. I am 48 with two young children and can't bare the thought of leaving them, but currently am struggling to want to keep on living my life like this. Everyone is always saying how brave I have been and how well I have coped as I always put on a front, but it is getting harder not easier. I feel ungrateful and guilty as I have been given a chance, whereas others aren't so lucky. I search for longer term survivors who have had a similar diagnosis but I don't come across many. How do you wonderful women who post with such a positive attitude and outlook get to that point. Thanks for listening. Maree
  • Robyn_W's avatar
    Robyn_W
    Member
    11 years ago
    I just wanted to also let you know,that if you look at the top of this page,you will see the small heading,site map.Click on that,and scroll a long way down,and you will come to a heading titled'anxiety,stress depression' and if you click on that there is a little movie on you tube called,fear of reoccurrence.It may help you to realise that you are not alone,and in fact,as many as 50% of women diagnosed with BC,suffer with some type of depression after treatment.Cheers xoxRobyn
  • Robyn_W's avatar
    Robyn_W
    Member
    11 years ago
    I just wanted to also let you know,that if you look at the top of this page,you will see the small heading,site map.Click on that,and scroll a long way down,and you will come to a heading titled'anxiety,stress depression' and if you click on that there is a little movie on you tube called,fear of reoccurrence.It may help you to realise that you are not alone,and in fact,as many as 50% of women diagnosed with BC,suffer with some type of depression after treatment.Cheers xoxRobyn
  • Robyn_W's avatar
    Robyn_W
    Member
    11 years ago

    Hello Maree,and welcome to the online network.You have taken the first step ,I believe,in beginning the healing process.This blog is the most amazing place to connect with others,and you will realise that you are not alone.I had a different cancer to you,but a few days ago,a lady with your type of BC was on this blog.I am hoping that she will read your post and respond to you.She had answers also,from others with the same diagnosis.Try if you can,to look at the positives .Your cancer was under 2 cm which is a VERY GOOD thing.No more spread apart from the micromet in the sentinel node:) It's hard Maree,but I think if you begin to communicate on here ( and you can come on here 24/7 and there is always someone who wants to listen and help)and perhaps even consider some counselling? Your GP can refer you to someone,or simply ring the cancer council and they will point you in the right direction.This blog has been my life saver,and I come on here most days.My diagnosis was a year ago now.I often feel a sense of guilt because of the younger women who are diagnosed,and I am almost 60 ,but as I know deep down,breast cancer can strike anyone at any age.It sounds as though you have got on top of your cancer ,now you just have to take care of YOURSELF,perhaps let others help if you can,and remember there is no shame in asking for help.We need help in order to get back to where we were before BC.Please stay on here Maree and let us support you.Take care.Im sending you a big hug :) Robynxox

  • Julia44's avatar
    Julia44
    Member
    11 years ago

    Hi Maree,

    I was diagnosed 3 years ago and around the same time my kids-then aged 14,16,18 began to have mental health issues. It was really hard as none of them helped me with home tasks etc during my chemo period and the 5 operations that I have now had.(sometimes being quite openly nasty) .  Instead I spent many hours driving around to psychiatric appointments for them. This is still ongoing now.  This has affected their HSC years and their future choices.

    I can't say for sure that it was a result of my diagnosis, but it was around the same time.

    I don't feel that I have depression but I see a psychologist regularly at the new Lifehouse at RPA hospital Sydney.  This has been really helpful in helping me to deal with the stresses that my own condition and handling the children's issues.

    Hope you can find someone to help you through it too.

    Julia

  • MareeB-65's avatar
    MareeB-65
    Member
    11 years ago
    Dear Tonya, Robyn and Julia Thank you so much for taking the time to reply. I very much appreciate your words of wisdom and I will try to put your advice into action. I have had bouts of feeling low, but I am not sure why at this stage I am feeling so low and hopeless about my situation. My specialists will give me positives, but always seem to be followed by a but ...... and I seem to focus on the but. The ironic thing is my partner works in cancer research at Peter Mac in Melbourne so whilst he is very positive, as he is that sort of person, and a great support, I think I know too much which can be a negative. I do see a psychologist and she is helpful but things have just seemed to all get on top of me. I stay strong for my two children as my 10 year old is very in tune with all my moods and watches me like a hawk at times. Thank you all once again your support is invaluable to me. Xoxox
  • MareeB-65's avatar
    MareeB-65
    Member
    11 years ago
    Dear Robyn Thank you so much for taking the time to reply. I very much appreciate your words of wisdom and I will try to put your advice into action. I have had bouts of feeling low, but I am not sure why at this stage I am feeling so low and hopeless about my situation. My specialists will give me positives, but always seem to be followed by a but ...... and I seem to focus on the but. The ironic thing is my partner works in cancer research at Peter Mac in Melbourne so whilst he is very positive, as he is that sort of person, and a great support, I think I know too much which can be a negative. I do see a psychologist and she is helpful but things have just seemed to all get on top of me. I stay strong for my two children as my 10 year old is very in tune with all my moods and watches me like a hawk at times. Thank you all once again your support is invaluable to me. Xoxox