Today I went for my yearly check up. With a big sigh of relief all good for another year.My problem is during treatment my husband was so supportive and in tune to my visits. Well now it is 3 years on he hasn't even asked me how I went today. I might love him but I can still call him a JERK.I struggle with the whole support while going through treatment and then as time goes by I'm healthy and don't need any support.Annoyed, pissed off want to punch him.Sorry for the rant but some of you get what I'm saying, I hope everyone is well todayThanks for listening

Oh yes. I went to my appointment kniwing they were probably going to stop my treatment alone. He did call me though from work ...but it's not the same.

It's hard I know but we all went through a lot of wishing to be "back to normal". So did our partners probably! So not so surprising that now we do seem to be back to normal, they go back to the old patterns. Except we haven't really. We are either still coping with changes or we have embraced a new normal, that says we will never really stop thinking about cancer, and we sort of expect our partners to be sensitive to that too. Not sure what the long term answer is - my partner got very early bowel cancer diagnosed (3 years after me, excellent prognosis). No, that's NOT the answer but it did make him more sensitive - to his changes : ) - not necessarily mine! Short term, it's more telling I think. I know it would be nice if our partners didn't always need to be told, but ............

I agree with Afraser.... MEN dont think like we do ..... to them, they often think.... ok well treatment is over life is back to normal and they dont realise the stress we carry each time we are due for a review.... YES be frustrated with him and maybe communicate to him ... Hey honey today my review was good but shit the stress of going was horrible. None of us are mind readers.... I dont have a partner to do that. I went through my BC roller coaster with my 3 children and they are very receptive to my emotions as I approach each review now... but we talk about it and They tell me when I am being antzy because they realise I sometimes dont realise I am being antzy..... Tell him how you feel, I am sure he has absent mindedly thought "oh she is well now so she likes being independent so I will just go about the day as we would normally."Hugs and energy..... Alice

Hey Rowdy, First off Congratulations on your Three Years - Wooohoooooo!!! You go girl - that's fantastic!!!!! Secondly go out and buy yourself a celebration cake and when your hubby asks why the cake tell him! That way you get cake and he'll get the point (and if he doesn't THEN punch him!! ;) ) . Big hugs Xx Cath

Thanks ladies I struggle to talk to my husband. I know we are all different but there is only the 2 of us at home and I just don't get why he can't ask. I have a diary on the bench so he can't say he dosen't know. I'm sick of making excuses for him. Yep i think a punch in the head is a good idea. Still a jerk at the moment.Have a good day everyone

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mum2jj
Member
9 years ago
Hey Rowdy, CONGRATULATIONS!!! on your check up. If it helps my husband is a bit the same, such a rock through two lots of treatment but not so good on the support afterwards. I know by the time my treatment had finished he told me he was so emotionally drained which makes him sound like a jerk. However I also think it is very hard to be the one watching the one you love suffer. However lets not make excuses it is nice to be asked how everything went etc.
Sending you a hug,
Paula xx
rowdy
Member
9 years ago
Thank you ladies update is on Thursday he asked me did I have a appointment with surgen. i said I went on Wednesda.
I told him that is why I;m annoyed with him, his answer was that if anything wrong I would tell him. My reply was no I wouldn't have told him. He still didn;t ask me how it went. So he is still a jerk and dosen't get it.
Thanks so much for listening xx
SoldierCrab
Member
9 years ago
<3 hugs
melclarity
Member
9 years ago
Grrrr yeah Id be really annoyed I have to say...MEN!!! some are thoughtful, some are not and sometimes its not that they dont care, they just dont think! xo
RNSW
Member
9 years ago
Happy to hear your check up went well. I understand what you mean people in general think you don't need support after treatment, but I think it's important cos it is a hard thing for us to live with even when we get good news xo
mum2jj
Member
9 years ago
<3 Men....

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