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primek's avatar
primek
Member
7 years ago

2 years on

I penned this post some weeks back and suddenly I found a draft section accidently. So if you suddenly find yourself with a lost post. Check it out. 


I had my oncology review this week. I got to discuss all those niggling worries of a dicky shoulder and the odd vertigo issue and none of it is related to my ...worry ar night fear...of metstatic disease.
Although daily I believe I am now healthy I still have those fears that sneak in. Consciously I talk myself through the logic of things...but I can't stop that niggling worry buried deep saying...maybe it's something else.
What to do with that eh? I have no answers except you have to talk yourself through it.
This year I've started to catch up on all my other health checks that got delayed. I've had my new version pap smear...now not needed for another 5. I've had a colonscopy and endoscopy and confirmed that I'm now lactose intolerant. Something that became apparent during and post chemo. Ive also got a small hernia a barrets oesaphagus (which can lead to cancer) so also know my reflux issues are real and how to manage and to have another check in 5 years.
 I've had my suspect mole checked out. To pretend none of this investigation process didn't cause me stress is a joke. Outwardly I was the Queen of calm...but internally I was terrified something would be found and more treatment would be needed. Do we ever feel safe again? I doubt it.

Life is good. I'm finally feeling fitter  (except the damn dicky shoulder) I'm swimming again. Doing aquafit classes Sundays. I've started doing bodypump through the YMCA and do my own gym workout Saturday. My job involves much moving about. My fitness and fatigue still isn't what it was pre cancer treatment but it is closer.  Recently my hubby and I had a quick escape on his motorbike and later this year we are doing a  week trip on it. 
My kids are on there way. Tackling life full on and all  are now working and getting some income which is fabulous. Still at home...and for them my breast cancer is a distant memory.
So ladies...those in the middle of treatment. Life does get better again. No longer though do we take our health for granted. No longer will I get caught up in the crap at work that will impact on me at home. I've got smart on that now. It's a pity I had bc to learn that..
So yes...next month is 2 years since I finished chemo. It's 2.5 years since I found that lump and 18 months since I stopped Herceptin due to heart impact. It feels like last month. But fortunately due to treatment...Life goes on. Kath x

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