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WOW Didnt see that coming!!!
Well, didn't see that one coming. I'm two weeks post op and was looking forward to saying how well I was doing, and that I'd been for my surgical check up and it was all good and nodes were clear and they got it all and this is my treatment plan...... WRONG! All nodes came back positive. Margins not wide enough to clear me of a microscopic crappy little cancer cell not hiding somewhere in the breast tissue. Okay I thought, so more surgery. Full axillary clearance.. okay I can deal with that. Not happy Jan but not the end of the world. And a mastectomy... huh???!!! What ???!!!! Okay... I was NOT prepared for that. I thought he'd say, we'll re excise the area, not chop the whole bloody thing off (I'm a size DD and there's plenty to work with) So, that sat me back on my butt a bit and I may have lost my you know what in the office. Problem was, I was speaking to one of the younger intern type doctors and not my main surgeon who's away on holidays till next week. While this young fellow was confident in what he was saying, he also looked about 12. And I shouldnt judge, but I just didn't feel as confident with him as I could have. AND I hadn't researched mastectomies (because I wasn't having one of those) and so I didn't know to ask if it was a partial, a simple, or a radical mastectomy. So my wonderful boss (who is my wonderful Doctor) is going to call him on Monday to discuss the options and whether a more conservative approach can be taken. The first thing that came out of my mouth when he said the mastectomy word was "should it be a double mastectomy to be sure". So obviously my gut feeling is that this may have to be the way to go. He suggested just concentrating on the diseased one and so we left it at that. So my Pollyanna hat is slipping to one side... and I have to give myself a little bit of time to adjust... gather myself and get ready for apparently urgent surgery sometime in the very near future. Look's like my big girl undies need to be pulled up a little higher and my cowgirl boots laced a little tighter.
11 Replies
UPDATE -
All you ladies are just bloody awesome!!!!!
At the moment I'm taking it one appointment at a time. The path results are what triggered this next stage. There is no choice here in as far as, whatever keeps me breathing. I've got a friend who is a qualified prosthesis fitter, and she's also given me some good questions to ask particularly for us bigger breasted girls and consequences of only one breast removed. I've got an appointment with my awesome breast care nurse Megan on Monday and hopefully an appointment with my original awesome surgeon next week or week after to discuss all options.
Today I'm tired, a wee bit sad at times, BUT i'm not as overwhelmed today as yesterday. Ready not necessarily to kick its butt, but to absorb and contemplate :)
Thank you ladies xxx
BOOBY TWINS LOL!!! :)
Christine that was an AWESOME reply. Thank you.
Hi Donna
Your news sucks. Losing a breast is a very personal thing, I couldn't wait to have mine off once the cancer was confirmed - I felt I needed to get this thing as far away from me as possible, I probably would have started gnawing it off myself if the surgery hadn't been so fast! Don't get me wrong I liked my pair of boobs, never even walked around the house without a bra on - they always had to look their best :)
But I have found that now the surgery is done and therapy has started my focus has shifted away from the breast at least for the time being.
Take care of yourself
Love & luck
Carol
Damn! Seems our experiences are very similar indeed Donna! Once you get over that information overload and the protective fog moves in, you get on with it.....the hardest thing for me was not to overthink things (still is)...one day at a time, an hour at a time if need be....I too have the mastectomy to discuss after chemo and it's such an overwhelming thought, i have shoved it to the back of my mind for now...I had a funny visual of all of us walking around with our big girl panties up over our heads and our boots laced so tight our legs were balloons! LOL! ;)
Wishing you all the best with your decisions and the rest of your treatments...
-Tracy
Hey Brenda, Dr will be back Monday and the hospital is arranging for me to see him prior to surgery. So thats good. No storm here. I was watching it on the BOM and the storms were above and below us.
Feeling calmer this morning. Will go and talk to Megan and ask a few questions, but ready to start preparing for this next step now that I've had a good nights sleep.
That news is the pits. I hope your good dr isn't away for too long and can come back and do some explanations. I was all set to get double mas done myself I was so disgusted at this cancer but my dr said its not necessary and my sis in laws been over 15yrs with just the one breast done so it doesn't necessarily follow you could get it in the other.
Well you went a couple steps back but its still entirely treatable, you aren't losing at all really. Surgery up here is usually 2 to 3 weeks so you have time to get it sorted with your dr and settle a bit. Yeah I lost it as well when it happened to me. I was just so angry! It does get better. xxxxx
My goodness are you getting any of this storm atm? Wild winds, lightning and absolutely pouring in Burrum Heads.
Thanks ladies. Eileen seems like its been a crappy day all round. I did ask about mastectomy first at my initial consult but my surgeon was not even considering it, but said if that's what I wanted he'd have done it. I cant have reconstruction till they've cleared the tissue of further disease, had radiation or chemo if that's what they decide. So all I know is to ask to leave enough skin to do reconstruction.
One day at a time hey girls. I have a massive headache so its time for a glass of water and some quiet time.
Hugs and prayers to you all xxx
Wow Donna im so sorry to hear your news.... but you know what call me silly but the first thing I said to my dr when he said you have bc is "I want a mastectomy".... After a lumpectomy and one lymph positive (out of 14 taken out) - 4 x AC chemos later I go the all clear the other day and my oncologist offered me radiation, I chose not to do radiation and do a double whammy mastectomy. And remember you are not alone we are all here for you xxx
Sorry to hear your news Donna I also had bad news with my results today as well. I know what a shock it is & at the moment I feel flat so will have to get my head around it before I put my post up.
All we can do is take it hour by hour day by day. We can beat this.
Sending big hugs & prayers.
Eileen
xx
