why don't I feel that this is serious?

Hi Lynn,

Sorry to hear about your mri results- how awful to have to wait for 2mths and get tested again.It's hard enough going through chemo let alone dealing with the unknown brain growth.But we must cling to the positive and a meningioma growth means it is outside the brain but in the lining so to speak.Many years ago I worked in a neurosurgical unit and the odds of it being a benign growth are in your favour.Something like 10%of the population are walking around with aneurysms and the likes in their head and never know it.We are lucky to have such loving husbands(32yrs for me) and supportive family and friends. I don't know how women face this on their own.In the coming weeks you will be up and down ,no doubt,but a good cry helps.I will be thinking of you and hoping chemo goes ok for you.

                                   Tonya xx

Oh Lynn

You must be so scared!  I can't begin to imagine the thoughts going through your mind at the moment.  You have really had such a hard time lately!!

As you said, try to stay positive.  I know its hard at time and have a good cry when you need to.....we all need to sometimes!!

That must have been such a shock to find out that you had had a stroke sometime in the past!  How lucky were you that it wasn't more serious!  It is awful news about the suspected meningioma though.  Hopefully it will turn out to be benign and you won't have to have any more treatment :)  It will be horrible for you to have to wait a couple of months though to find out!

Give yourself a hug from me and take care,

Louise x

Hi Louise and Tonya - well yes, we've received results of the mri - some good and reassuring others not so... the "good' news was that I have at some stage had a stroke (with no long lasting effects) probably when I used to have migraines on about a 6wkly basis that had me bedridden for 2-3 days and nights at a time - we wouldn't have necessarily noticed that my speech was slurred (as it would have been due to the position of the stroke scarring) - and as I have been on blood pressure meds for many years now which is effective I am unlikely to have any more problems there.

The less good news though is that they detected a "growth" (meningioma I think they called it) on the brain - which may or may not turn out to be malignant... I have to wait for another two months to have another mri as the only means of diagnosing it either way is by whether or not it grows - if it is benign it will not grow, nor will it likely cause me any issues (in fact it may have been there for absolutely years if benign) but if it is malignant it is likely to grow very quickly,  probably inopperable, but possibly treatable with radiotherapy... the oncologist (a lovely, lovely lady) says that as my sentinel lymph node proved clear and there are no other signs of the cancer having spread, there is a high chance that it is benign.  I'm trying really hard to keep a hold on the positive but finding it a little difficult to do so consistently...  I am expecting my first grandchild in 20 weeks so am trying to focus on that rather than anything else!!!

I am surrounded by loving family - my husband of 33 years, our 3 children (our youngest is an 18 year old girl and I so want to be here to be her friend and her children's grandmother in years to come!!!) my parents and siblings and parents-in-law and siblings-in-law - how much more could one ask for, along with wonderful friends but I'm still very scared!!!

Thank you both for your support - it's incredibly important (as I'm sure that you will realise).  In the past I've known people who have had cancer / chemo etc and sympathised, but never really understood what it means to them or their family as to the depth of it all - I think that is only possible once you've "walked in their shoes".

Lynn - xxx

hi Lynn

Just wondering how you went with the oncologist on Tuesday?  Did you find out what the white spot was?

As Tonya said, I had a shadow on my liver that showed up in my CT scan but it turned out to be nothing to worry about (probably a birthmark on my liver that I was born with!).  Hopefully you got some good news.....

If not though, stay positive and take care of yourself.  We are here if you need us

 

Louise x

Hi Lynn,

Well what a great way to spend Mother's day! I too ended up in hospital with a temp and sore gums on round one of chemo.It's awful in isolation and hooked up to iv antibiotics.Then there is the added bonus of the iv being placed right in the middle of your good arm.Lynn,ofcourse you must be beside yourself with worry about that white spot.I would be an anxious mess.But just try and stay neutral.One of the other ladies on this site had a"shadow"on her liver scan and it ended up being nothing.You are having such a rough trot -I will have my fingers crossed for you on Tuesday.Let us know how you go.

                                              Tonya xx

hi again - well, here I am on the evening of day 19 of 1st 21 day cycle.  The first 3 days of the cycle were okay (I was almost wondering if they had actually given me chemo - expecting to feel SOMETHING) but wow, did that feeling ever leave quickly when on day 4 I started to feel nausea, lightheadedness, burning sore throat and thumping headache... able to quell the nausea a little with the meds given to "take as required" but ended up in hospital on evening of day 6 (Mothers Day) with temp too!  Antibiotics were given and spent next 3 days in hospital having amongst other tests a CT Scan - which had to be followed up with an MRI a week later to properly identify a "white spot" on brain - I get the results of that this Tuesday when I meet with oncologist prior to chemo.  Nothing else showed in bloods etc so have been told that one of the chemo meds can dry out the sinsuses and that may have been the cause of the other symptoms.  Just between you and me and I'm scared witless at the prospect of finding out on Tuesday what the "white spot" is...  Have had no trouble remaining positive until this, but now...  am struggling!

 

thanks to you all for your reassuring responses...

I've met today with the oncologist and begin chemo in a fortnight - been told that I have her2+ so having Herceptin for 12 months as well as 6 x 3 wkly cycles of chemo.  Now I'm starting to feel less sure about my future.  Although I was told that this makes it a more agressive form of cancer I didn't think to ask what that does to my chances of full recovery having previously been told that I had about 90%...  the partial mastectomy biopsy showed a clear margin and no lymph nodes involved - who do I ask (now) or do I have to wait until going back in a week's time (when I have a "port" implanted)?  I know that I might sound ungrateful but am beginning to feel really scared!!!

thanks to you all for your reassuring responses...

I've met today with the oncologist and begin chemo in a fortnight - been told that I have her2+ so having Herceptin for 12 months as well as 6 x 3 wkly cycles of chemo.  Now I'm starting to feel less sure about my future.  Although I was told that this makes it a more agressive form of cancer I didn't think to ask what that does to my chances of full recovery having previously been told that I had about 90%...  the partial mastectomy biopsy showed a clear margin and no lymph nodes involved - who do I ask (now) or do I have to wait until going back in a week's time (when I have a "port" implanted)?  I know that I might sound ungrateful but am beginning to feel really scared!!!

thanks to you all for your reassuring responses...

I've met today with the oncologist and begin chemo in a fortnight - been told that I have her2+ so having Herceptin for 12 months as well as 6 x 3 wkly cycles of chemo.  Now I'm starting to feel less sure about my future.  Although I was told that this makes it a more agressive form of cancer I didn't think to ask what that does to my chances of full recovery having previously been told that I had about 90%...  the partial mastectomy biopsy showed a clear margin and no lymph nodes involved - who do I ask (now) or do I have to wait until going back in a week's time (when I have a "port" implanted)?  I know that I might sound ungrateful but am beginning to feel really scared!!!

Hi Lynn,

 I was abit like you with my second bout of breast cancer last year.It was like here we go again.I went on auto pilot cos I knew I had to get through some pretty tough stuff.I think sometimes we hold it together while the crisis is on and then fall in a heap when it's over.I burst into a blubbering mess when I signed the chemo consent form.You never know what simple thing might trigger the waterworks.The numbness is normal but be prepared for emotions down the track.Best wishes  - Tonya