why don't I feel that this is serious?

Hi Louise and Tonya - well yes, we've received results of the mri - some good and reassuring others not so... the "good' news was that I have at some stage had a stroke (with no long lasting effects) probably when I used to have migraines on about a 6wkly basis that had me bedridden for 2-3 days and nights at a time - we wouldn't have necessarily noticed that my speech was slurred (as it would have been due to the position of the stroke scarring) - and as I have been on blood pressure meds for many years now which is effective I am unlikely to have any more problems there.

The less good news though is that they detected a "growth" (meningioma I think they called it) on the brain - which may or may not turn out to be malignant... I have to wait for another two months to have another mri as the only means of diagnosing it either way is by whether or not it grows - if it is benign it will not grow, nor will it likely cause me any issues (in fact it may have been there for absolutely years if benign) but if it is malignant it is likely to grow very quickly,  probably inopperable, but possibly treatable with radiotherapy... the oncologist (a lovely, lovely lady) says that as my sentinel lymph node proved clear and there are no other signs of the cancer having spread, there is a high chance that it is benign.  I'm trying really hard to keep a hold on the positive but finding it a little difficult to do so consistently...  I am expecting my first grandchild in 20 weeks so am trying to focus on that rather than anything else!!!

I am surrounded by loving family - my husband of 33 years, our 3 children (our youngest is an 18 year old girl and I so want to be here to be her friend and her children's grandmother in years to come!!!) my parents and siblings and parents-in-law and siblings-in-law - how much more could one ask for, along with wonderful friends but I'm still very scared!!!

Thank you both for your support - it's incredibly important (as I'm sure that you will realise).  In the past I've known people who have had cancer / chemo etc and sympathised, but never really understood what it means to them or their family as to the depth of it all - I think that is only possible once you've "walked in their shoes".

Lynn - xxx