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PaulaN's avatar
PaulaN
Member
10 years ago

Why are the nights so hard

Does anyone know of where you can get some phone support at night? I’m finding the night’s sooooo hard. I've only been getting an hours sleep at night & tonight it was only 30 minutes. This has been going on for a week now. I got an amended report from Breast Screen from the pathology company (does that make sense). I don't know what it means but to my hubby and I it sounds worse than what I was told at first. At night my head just goes crazy, I get scared & spend hours sobbing. Hubby (Mark) isn't coping too well either so Iv just found out & it wouldn't be so great if we are both sleep deprived, so I let him sleep & put on a brave face during the day. I don't know if its because I don't understand the information Iv been given or if I would be like this anyway. Im just so tired & cant stop my head buzzing a million miles a minute. I feel a bit deserted by my family. Im the eldest of 6 and have got 5 adult kids of my own,. When I got my diagnosis I rang each of them myself & told them & only my parents & 1 son (who lives interstate, he’s 26) has rung to see how Iv been. Am I just being selfish & expecting too much?  I don’t know. 

Enough winging. I keep telling myself to stop worrying about things until I see the doctor at the hospital next Wed but its like I cant control it.  Its so strange, Im usually the strong one that keeps things going when bad things happen so why cant I do it now.

Ok, Iv had my sook but it would really be great if there was some support at night when normal people are asleep 

Paula

emotions

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  • Carol22's avatar
    Carol22
    Member
    10 years ago

    Hi Paula

    Unfortunately I can't answer your question but am sure someone else will be able to.

    I found that waiting is the hardest part, it's an emotional turmoil you have a little bit of information but no plan on what or where from there - nothing else to focus on except to imagine the worst. It really sucks that you have to wait so long before you can see the doctor and make some sense out of it - I would really question why reports are available to the patient when we are not equipped to interpret them? Just adds to the angst. 

    Maybe you could phone your family again and tell them you really need them, they may not realise how you are feeling.

    Take care of yourself, sleep when you can, you will need your strength - I have found the best thing was to focus on making myself as prepared and strong for the road ahead.

    Love & luck xo

    Carol

  • rowdy's avatar
    rowdy
    Member
    10 years ago

    Hi Paula welcome to the site. When I started my trip it was at night that as soon as my head hit the pillow I would imagine the worst. I would sit up in the lounge and let my husband sleep because I didn't want to worry him. I think that as women we are strong and in control and when this starts we have no control. ( not that we have much control during treatment)  When I found out what was ahead it was a bit better. Be prepared for how your friend and family cope, as we all  cope so very different. Be kind to yourself and cry if you need because it is  a tough trip. Don't be afraid to ask for help and this site can be a help as we are all here to support you as best we can.

    The only way I coped was every day I woke up I tried to start with a positive,  when you sit down and think about it you will think of something. Sending you a big hug xx