My sister was diagnosed with breast cancer at the age of 45 in February this year. Although she is positive most of the time just after each chemo treatment when she gets very very sick she becomes very depressed and desperate to stop the sick feelings. All she wants to do is sleep. My mum and I want to help her but don't know how. Is the sick feeling to be expected and what can we do to help?
Hi Gailmaree. I too have a sister by your name. She is my baby sister - Number 5 so I have three other sisters as well. They feel so helpless whilst I am on chemo and can't wait for me to be finished. I get really emotional thinking how sad and helpless they must feel - but I love them even more for it. I am at day 10 after chemo number 2 with two more to go. For the first 7 days after chemo I am "out of bounds". After that I start to "come through the tunnel". I must say the first round was different to this round. Not better not worse - just different. This time I was given the neulasta (sorry about the spelling) injection the day after the chemo as the previous session saw me in hospital for 6 nights due to neutropenia. Day one after chemo for me is okay, day two is bearable, BUT day 3 I just want to curl up and fade away - so sick. Day 4-7 there is a slight improvement but still not good. During this week, my sisters try to limit the phone calls until my husband is home to answer. On the first chemo - no knowing what to expect I was an emotional wreck and cried all the time (this is not like me AT ALL.) My lovely sister who lives about 1 hour drive away arrived with a car full of baking on day 3. This was so lovely as I didn't feel like eating anything - no appetite or taste. Now that I feel good I go like the "clackers" cleaning, washing and cooking in readiness for when I feel lousey and unwell. Crazy as it might sound when I have energy I use it in readiness for when I don't. It is very difficult to know that you are going to come out of the "cloud" when you are stuck in it but gee it is glorious when you start to feel normal. I don't waste a minute of this time. Thank you for being their for your sister. Let me tell you she does not want to cry all the time. It is the drugs but do keep an eye on her. It is lovely that you are on the site - please let us be there for you as well as your sister. XLeonie
the chemo does make you negative and depressed but its hard to notice when you are the patient you get lost inside it, and sometimes things or nothing will lift your spirits during those days, but as each treatment progresses it lifts somewhat towards the end of each cycle, wait for those days and see what treats or activities may bring a little peace, happiness or even just distraction from whats happening. I myself had ten days in a row on the couch on round 3, unable to do a single thing, you just can not.
So you do kind of get trapped in the cycles and "feeling good' is a distant memory, and the only time i have felt really good and well is this week, as my Dr delayed my next scheduled treatment by one week due to a cold sore that needs to heal before i start Taxotare.
BUT what i can tell you is being chemo free just for these extra 7 days (after 3 months of chemo with side effects) is totally
F A B U L O U S, i remember what it is to wake up and Not feel exhausted, i have energy and am out and about with family, friends, having lunch, its a Fab reprieve (as i still have 3 months chemo to go), i highly recommend it, [but not sure why it may not be a standard medical practice?? any comments on that anyone??]
Look forward to the end of treatments and i send you peace and patience in supporting your sister,
Bardoe
Hi there gailmaree and welcome - how wonderful that you are seeking information for your sister.
What you describe sounds pretty normal to me. It's exactly how I feel. I am positive and ready and willing to fight this thing 95% of the time but those few days after chemo when you feel awful my mood plummets - I cry, I wonder "why me?", I sleep (you are extremely fatigued as well). But each day is a little better and slowly my mood lifts until I think - "hey that's not so bad - I can do this" just in time to line up again and you feel a bit filled with dread on the way to the hospital to get your cocktail.
Being there, ask your sister how she would like to be helped. My Husband makes me fresh chicken soup, runs a nice bath, takes the kids out so I can sleep in peace. My friends have a meal roster so we don't have to cook on chemo weeks. Someone else helps with school pick ups. Mum when she is here does my washing and ironing and gets out in my garden.
It's hard to say what will help your sister as only she knows that. I hope that she is feeling a bit better each day.
Amanda xx
Hi there gailmaree and welcome - how wonderful that you are seeking information for your sister.
What you describe sounds pretty normal to me. It's exactly how I feel. I am positive and ready and willing to fight this thing 95% of the time but those few days after chemo when you feel awful my mood plummets - I cry, I wonder "why me?", I sleep (you are extremely fatigued as well). But each day is a little better and slowly my mood lifts until I think - "hey that's not so bad - I can do this" just in time to line up again and you feel a bit filled with dread on the way to the hospital to get your cocktail.
Being there, ask your sister how she would like to be helped. My Husband makes me fresh chicken soup, runs a nice bath, takes the kids out so I can sleep in peace. My friends have a meal roster so we don't have to cook on chemo weeks. Someone else helps with school pick ups. Mum when she is here does my washing and ironing and gets out in my garden.
It's hard to say what will help your sister as only she knows that. I hope that she is feeling a bit better each day.
Amanda xx
