To chemo or not to chemo?

Hi @jewel-ee. I was a lurker for a long time too. Sorry that you find yourself here, but having said that, it's an incredibly supportive place and a great resource as I'm sure you realise from your lurking!

I'm just reached your 'June', today was my first day free of the 21 day cycle since early January. Like everyone says, it goes quicker than you think it will, and once you get started, the fear of the unknown recedes and you get used to the rhythm.

You know your chemo is called TC? Do a search here with that term & you'll find lots of info.

I haven't shed a tear over my hair loss, but I struggled with the everyone knows thing. I still don't like it but like most things you get used to it. Mind you, the other day a man stared so long and hard at me as I walked past him that I said "stop staring". Pig. I have found men far worse at this than women. Women know how to flick the eyes away after the extra half second of looking.

Anyway, don't hesitate to use this marvellous forum. Be kind to yourself and don't try to do too much. Take care and good luck on Friday. Let us know how you get on. K xox

@jewel-ee, I also started the same regime last week . Isn't it wonderful we are all on here together, it certainly has helped me and great we can do this together. Chemo wasn't on my original plan either. It was only after surgery that the plan changed and here I am a week into my three months of chemo. All the best xxx

@jewel-ee that is exactly the regime that I have started 1 week ago today so 1 week post cycle I am finally staring to feel sort of back to normal. The one thing I can tell u from my short experience but I know the other women will agree is to listen to your body and be kind to yourself. I am just thinking to myself when I have the next one in mid April I am halfway!!  I am looking forward to the end of May as much as I know u will be looking forward to the end of June. I’m the same with the hair - makes the experience not private anymore. The place where I am having chemo offers the cold cap - is that available to you??  Good luck with everything - we are all here for u and just remember u will get through it!!!  Steph xoxoxoxox

Hi All. I have been reading all your wonderful posts this past month (often late at night when I couldn't sleep) as I found out more about this challenging diagnosis and the accompanying roller coaster of feelings. I thought I was going to dodge the chemo path but it wasn't to be. I have my first cycle this friday -  4 cycles of docetaxel and cyclophosphamide - I will be very happy when the end of June arrives! It has really helped me reading everyone's experiences and thoughts as I know many more before me have done this and a whole lot more. I am having my hair cut next sat in prep for the big fall - and I am finding the hair loss the most daunting aspect at the moment. Not only because I hide behind it but damn now everyone will know.... Never mind it will pass. I appreciate the time others have taken to share their experiences as it helps me feel more prepared - thank you! It is such a supportive environment. I am sure to have questions soon. Jewel-ee :-)

Glad to hear you came through it @Kerry66.  I'm still going and it is a hard ride but light at the end.  And @allyjay yours must have been the stats story (December 2017) that I was trying to drag out of my befuddled brain a couple of months ago in a different post.  It makes things quite clear, I think.

Hi Kerry66  So sorry you are here.  Its a f&^%$**g horror bus ride.  I was thrown onto the bus last May and found myself here.  I opted for a full mastectomy with no reconstruction. A few weeks after my surgery I found myself under the knife again for a full aux clearance as they had found "a tiny amount of cancer", as my surgeon said, in two of my lymph nodes. My second surgery came back all clear.  Unfortunately, or fortunately, I ended up in "the grey area" of to have chemo or not. This was a huge decision and it was one that needed to be made within a set time, yet my mind was not in  a good place. I had just been through 12 months of being the main carer for my mother in law who had ovarian cancer.  I took her to chemo appointments, doctors appointments, was caring for her by doing her housework and groceries etc, while trying to keep my business functioning and run my own house and look after my family. She was my best friend who I absolutely idolised.  She passed in May and one week after her funeral I was diagnosed. I was up to date with my mammograms...I wasnt due for my nest for 12 months.  I had just reconnected with my sister after 45 years and she told me she was a breast cancer survivor, so on my routine doctors appointment for something trivial, I passed this info onto her.  She said "do you want to go and get a 3d mammogram and then we can put this to bed?". Bingo...2 hours later I was told I had breast cancer.
So after 2 opinions from two oncologists, I was still sitting in the grey area.  Everyones dx is different based on path reports etc.  So an informed decision needed to be made.  I opted out of chemo because my dx just wasnt clear cut that I would actually benefit from it.  If I was told my dx was most certainly needed chemo...well I would have taken a seat. 
I still dont know if Im one of the lucky ones or not to be placed in the grey area...but I am happy with my decision based on info given by two seperate oncologists.
Almost 12 months on, I have been on Tamoxifen for 6 months coupled with Zoladex (ovarian suppression) and now Im on Letrozole with Zoladex injections. Im 52 and honestly dont have any side effects that are worth complaining about. The hardest part for me over the last 12 months has not been physical...its been mentally horrific.  I have crashed and burned quite a few times...but these days I see more sunny days.
Did I make the right decision?  I dont have a crystal ball.  Will it come back?  I dont have a crystal ball.  If I did chemo could it come back anyway?  Will my medication stop a recurrence?  Will it come back anyway?  The questions are a mile long..but Im still comfortable with the decision I made based on all the information for my diagnosis. XO

So good you posted an update @Kerry66. I'm glad you came through OK.

Hey Londog, I decided to have the chemo and started on the 13th January.  I'm not gonna lie this has been the hardest thing I've been through and trust me like everyone I've had my fair share of tough times.
My type of chemo was TC 4 cycles 3 weeks apart, the drugs were Docetaxel and Cyclophosphamide. I just finished in the 17th March.  After Round 1 I ended up in Flinders Medical Centre as I had Febrile Neutropenia basically my body didn't start making white blood cells and I was ill.  I had to stay 2 nights while they pumped me full of antibiotics.  This DOES NOT HAPPEN TO EVERYONE - please understand this.  Because I went neutropenic I was then given an injection the day after chemo for the next 3 rounds (i gave it to myself) and this did not happen again.  As I went through the public system I was not offered the cold cap the public system do not offer them as yet. I have to be truthful here my hair did start to fall out exactly 14 days after my first round and I did come undone I cried buckets, however I contacted my hairdresser to have it shaved off as I knew I wouldn't be able to cope with it falling out. This was my effort in taking some control back. Round 2 wasn't as bad as Round 1 however rounds 3 and 4 hit me like a Mack Truck and I was pretty much bed ridden for the week after chemo.  For me it was the taste - it was and is horrendous and because of the taste nausea, but they do give you nausea medication.
For me I would start to come good around Day 10 after chemo.
I'm not sure what is next for me - I meet with my oncologist on the 9th of April.  I'm hoping I've done enough.  2 lots of surgery and chemo. I just want my life back.  Feel free to ask me any questions I will try an answer as truthfully as I can.  None of us want to be here but alas here we are!!! It is crap but I've also had some of my most positive experiences since diagnosis as well.  All the best and take care.  Kerry66

Oh and I forgot to mention chemo brain - this is just a blast but it has made for some funny moments.  You really just gotta laugh otherwise well crying was just to exhausting.

Hi @Kerry66. I got diagnosed with ER + PR + and HER - in February. I had a lumpectomy, partial mastectomy and full simple mastectomy with auxiliary lymph node removal last month.  I have had a bit of horror ride with a misinformed surgeon but it ended up that my CT scan was clear, the nodes were clear and it had not invaded any surrounding tissue. My oncologist will put me in hormone blocking therapy and she made chemo my choice - I won’t need radiation. She gave me the stats and said she would be happy if I would have it or not - she would only recommend it as I am young (43) and to avoid the chance of recurrence as it rarely comes back in the other breast apparently. I just feel life is full of too many coulda, shoulda situations and I didn’t want this one to be one if it came back in 5 years somewhere else.  I started my basically oreventwtiv chemo TC 4 cycles, 21 days apart on Monday. I wore the cold cap to to try and protect my hair from going and I only got a little light headedness from the Docetaxel. I have been abit more tired but have been able to get up and go for a walk at 5am in the morning since then and have as yet had no side effects from the WBC booster shot I had yesterday. Feeling a little more slothful tonight but took my last Dex tablets until the next cycle. It is such a personal decision and I advise u to do your research, talk to your treatment team and your loved ones - in the the end u are the only one that can make the decision. I just looked at it as 2 months out of my life where I might feel like crap for a big chunk of it but at least I would have no regrets and know I did everything I could. We r all here for u - big hugs