Thank you!!
Hello ladies! This is my very first post in the network. I don’t think I was in the right frame of mind to contribute before now. I really wanted to say a massive thank you to every single one of you whose posts I have read over the past month since my diagnosis. You have all helped me more than words can ever say.
So here is a quick background of me and my story…
I am 37 year old mother of three (James 14, Sara 11 & Laura 9) and for my birthday this year I got breast cancer (LOL). I have no family history of BC, I felt no lump, even the many Dr’s who had a feel, felt nothing despite the tumor being 2.6cm. I just had a tender left breast and a very diligent GP who thankfully sent me for that dreaded ultra sound, which led to an immediate mammogram and core biopsy and then one week later I had a left breast mastectomy and axillary clearance! No rest for the wicked!
Further Ct scans and ultra sounds indicated there was a dodgy looking lesion on my liver which undoubtedly caused me great distress. I did not feel like I was riddled with cancer. I refused to accept the fact it was possible it had spread.
However Monday’s PET Scan and FNA has finally revealed that I was right, it is just a wine stain on my liver and not more bloody cancer!!
Now that I know what it is I am dealing with it and I feel like I can breathe and get on with it. Come on cancer ‘game on, let’s do this!!’ Oh and yes, I have been talking to my cancer like it is a person. The conversations haven’t been very pleasant either.
I feel I have finally accepted that yes I have breast cancer and no longer have a left breast. I just had a vision of myself standing up in front of everyone saying ‘hello my name is Tanya and I have breast cancer!’
I have been super positive about what is happening to me despite feeling like I have been kicked in the teeth (again). I finished uni in April and had just started working as a primary school teacher. I believe that stuff like this only happens to people who are strong enough to deal with it, and yes I am strong enough. I can cope with this sh$&! So “Cancer, you picked the wrong person to mess with”.
I think my positivity and ability to smile and laugh is what is making me stronger and able to deal with all of this. I understand everyone copes differently, this is just my way. There have been several and somewhat inappropriate cancer jokes I have made with my friends, but it makes me smile.
Someone brought me a drink at a lunch date and I said perhaps a little too loud ‘Did you just buy me that drink because I have cancer?’ We got some strange looks that day at lunch. I like to smile and just because I have cancer doesn’t mean I can’t continue to smile. I really don’t cope well with those ‘oh you’ve got cancer’ looks I get from some people; I am sure you all know what they are like!! I don’t want people to feel sorry for me and think oh poor Tanya and look at me with those pathetic she’s got cancer eyes!!
I know what lies ahead of me isn’t going to be easy and certainly not fun. I don’t want to look back on this part of my life as a sad and gloomy time, it is not in my nature to be like this so I am certainly not about to start now just because I have cancer.
One thing that I have learnt so far from this journey is that I am surrounded by the most amazing and caring friends and family. I have a whole new love for my husband, it is like I have fallen in love with him all over again!! I am so eternally grateful for the support I have received from every one.
My gratitude made me think about the fact that there are people out there going through the same crap as me who don’t have the amazing support like I do. So if you are reading this and you need someone to talk to or vent or cry with, I am more than happy to share some love!
So that is my story. Sorry if I have rambled on a bit. Hopefully I too can provide support and guidance to others throughout my journey and maybe I can make someone else smile when they are feeling alone or having a bad day.
xx Tanya xx
