There will be no greater help than seeking one on one assistance from a counselor or psychologist. I work in this field with addiction and I'm a 6 and a bit year survivor of an aggressive BC diagnosis and when I wanted to stop treatment I had to seek professional help because I wouldn't be here without my port, the chemo, the radiation, the surgery and the 6 years of hormone medication ... Yes it's bloody hard and it makes you question everything you know or believe in as a human being but sometime we are too emotional and entwined in our anxiety/predictions/outcomes/feelings of uncertainty/unhelpful thinking habits and so we need a professional with the skills to be able to objectively help us make sense and cope as best we can