Tamoxifen & Pregnancy after BC
Once again I have let a lot of time pass between posting. Whoops!
My main excitement? I was told I was allowed to take Tamoxifen for only 2 years I have started my countdown to finishing it. 10 Months to go! Whoohooo!!
I have been still getting hot flushes but they are no where near as frequent thank goodness. My hair is growing but I cant seem to get it past this horrible mullet stage! Only this week I have started to wear headbands. Feel like a little kid wearing them but it keeps it out of my eyes so worth feeling a bit silly.
My feet have been aching badly each morning and if I sit still for too long which I think is related to Tamoxifen. I take my pill at dinner time so decided to switch it to morning to see if that helps. Have read that Tamoxifen is at it peak strength in your system 7 hours after taking it so hoping that being more active rather than asleep at this point helps my feet as it seems to be a circulation thing.
I also just read though all my past posts and noticed that I never mentioned the one thing that was/is stressing me the most after treatment. Waiting to see if the medical induced menopause was permanent. I thought that I was putting everything down in this blog and leaving it out is such a massive oversight. Funny how the subconscious works. The idea that I may not be able to have children now really hurts (massive understatement) and during this time I have had 4 friends become pregnant/have children. I am really genuinely happy for them but it also pokes at my sore spot majorly. When I finally got to meet one of my friends baby I didnt hold her as I didnt want to burst into tears on them! Getting better around babies by just not thinking about it.
Waiting to see if my period came back was stressing me out and stress can cause periods to stop in normal circumstances so I was stressing over stressing about it! It finally came back (9 months after finishing chemo) and has been regular BUT I know others in the same boat havent had any luck on the getting pregnant front. Just knowing that my body is trying to get back to normal has helped massively but I still have that uncertainty hanging over me.
All up I dont think of cancer very often. It still bugs me to hear it on tv/internet too frequently but not as much as before. I have started gardening and finding it really relaxing and enjoyable. Planning on going sky diving next month and have a ticket in the U.S.A's draw tonight for 1.4 Billion...... oh the things I could do with that! :)
Thanks for letting me vent here xo