Struggling

Hi Jackie,

I am really sorry to hear you're struggling. It's definitely a hard road to travel.

my chemo regime is the same as yours. ER-, PR-, HER+ 72mm, grade 3 tumour lobular & ducal. I'm finished my A/C and have today had my 2nd taxol. Taxol is definitely easier. No nausea, however I did lose my appetite and have become fairly fatigued due to being anemic from the A/C. If my count hasn't gone up next time, I'll be getting a blood transfusion. I have a 2 & 3 year old and a husband having chemo every 2 weeks for colon cancer though so the fatigue may also be worse due to caring for all of them as well. 

I find I go up and down. I've been pretty down the last week and jealous of people just going about their normal lives and being completely healthy.  I too have been struggling with the way I look now and am dredding my mastectomy when it comes. The look good feel better workshops are great, but you have to take off the make up and everything eventually each day so I know how you're feeling. 

I know this was posted awhile ago so you'll probably be at about the same place as me in treatment. Hoping you are feeling a bit better now xx

Thanks for sharing your story with me Airlie.  Reassuring to know others share the same fears and thoughts.  

Be brave and stay well xo

Hi Jackie. Mine very similar. HER2 positive +3 stage 3. High grade. Had double mastectomy and node disection. 2 of which were cancerous. My chemo is E/C fortnightly for 4 rounds and then taxel and something else weekly gor 12 weeks with herceptin for a year. My GP also doubled my anxiety tabs. I think I have been in denial of my diagnosis. It was my second visit to the oncologist and I got anothet opinion. Crazy  hey!  And they both said its a very agressive and high grade cancer. Are you sure I asked. ?? I said I thought it was all gone. Who told you that he said. Well I did. All margins were clear scans all clear so why all this chemo. When he said I have prob had it for a long time and there could b tiny floaties in my body. That scared the hell out of me. So I can understand your thinking. I am often told I am a very strong person and you hsve the strenght to best this. Well hell is it only picking the strong. I dont want to b strong all the time. But I still am around others. Sorry if i've given my life story but some of it is funny how the mind works. All the best on your road ahead. Keep in touch and try to keep your mind in a happy place. I play relaxing music in bed and I find it helps my mind relax. X Airlie ?? 

Thank you Brenda for the positive reinforcement and yes, certainly saving a lot on hair products as my hair was fairly long.

PS just do what I do, avoid mirrors and think of the savings we are making on shampoo and conditioners lately.

It certainly is. One day, one hour at a time some days.

Thank you Katiet

You have had quite a whirlwind of treatment with the surgery in December and into chemo now which is where I am atm too. I also have menopause hot sweats happening just to make me feel even worse.

I too have been down some dark feelings but as yet I am holding off anti-depressants. I seem to be able to rise up here and there as the battle goes on.

Being Her2+ is not great for you but they have located the existing cancer and dealt with it already so that's a good thing. Be happy in that. It also means there is a risk of recurrence but since you had the mastectomy the cancers going to have to pick a whole nuther spot and with the chemo happening that's not going to be easy for it. That's why the long chemo period, to stuff up its plans for you.

Don't despair, there are other options in chemo if that particular lot don't seem to be quite right for you and you are a far cry from succumbing to this disease yet. They will keep a close eye on everything for you. You just keep on rising above it and hang in there. Somehow we all do. Sending lots of cyber hugz. xxxxxx000xx

I received your hug, thank you Christine.

Yes I've got the tools and done the program and generally I've been relatively positive.  Its been great to vent my fears here.  Knowing I'm talking to others in the same predicament is helping.

Jackie

Hi Sue, 

Ironically enough my counsellor is a survivor.  Go figure!

The oncologist has told me the taxol is more gentle so its good to know your daughter is coping better, something I can hang on to.

Thank you xo

Jackie

Thank you Lyn.  It does help to vent especially to those who know exactly what this experience is like.

Jackie