I am feeling fear welling inside me like a tidal wave. Dreading seeing the oncologist tomorrow, not because we will be discussing Chemotherapy, but because I get my staging scan results. I am convinced this bastard has already metastasised and I am crippled by fear. I think I will need valium just to walk in the door. Did anyone else feel like this? Mandycc

Sending you big hugs, love and light. I know exactly how you feel. I received my results last Friday And have ct and bone scans coming up soon. Fingers crossed for you hon, Regards, Janina

Do you have any movies or tv shows you can distract yourself with? It's almost impossible to stop thinking about it I know and the fear can stop you from being able to function so it helps to 'zone out' if you can. With anything at all that works for you. Downton Abbey worked for me. Best x

Robyn is exactly right. You will feel better when you know. These first few weeks are the hardest but as you get over each hurdle you gain strength that will help you with the next one. I hope you have someone with you to be a second pair of ears because you will be given important info about the next part of treatment. My oncologist wrote everything down and I referred to that piece of paper many times. You just don't take everything in at this point. You can do this. Let us know how you go. xxxxoooo Deanne

For me it was 4 seasons of The Mentalist. It got me through Chemo as well. You just can't concentrate on anything else. I even found myself having to watch some episodes more than once because my mind would drift off and I would miss bits! I also found music and exercise helped. Let us know how you go. Xxxxoooo Deanne

Wishing you good luck for today. Very good advice from Deanne andRobyn. If you can take someone then please do. If you can't make sure to ask them to print out everything they have read to you or to write it down for you so you can take it in later. You can do this. Courage always comes after the fact and you are stronger and more resilient and able to deal with this than you think you are. You have already proven that by reaching out. Let us know how you go today. Big virtual hugs and best wishes, Janina

Staging Scan results | BCNA Online Network

11 Replies

Deanne
Member
12 years ago
I have met and talked with a lady who was diagnosed at my age (47) and had a worse prognosis than me. She is now leading a very fit and healthy life 21 years later. She actually went to school with my Mum.

The Cancer Council can match you up with survivors who had similar treatment/diagnosis to your own too.

It is hard for family and friends to understand the emotions that we go through, but it does help to talk about it with someone. Is there a face to face support group in your area? I went to a Look Good Feel Better workshop and this was a good way to meet other women going through treatment in my area. It was a great practical support for dealing with chemo side effects like hair loss too. xxxxoooo Deanne
mandycoop
Member
12 years ago
Thanks Deanne,

I have had one session of phone counselling with the Cancer Council which helped to some extent. I really get confidence from speaking with survivors as it reassures me this beast does not have to come back and it does not have to kill me!

The afternoons are better for me especially after I get out and about. My family are magic and it shits me that I am bringing them down.

I really appreciate you supportxx

Mandy
Deanne
Member
12 years ago
I think if you find the fear is uncontrollable that it might be worth seeking counseling. It is still early days for you, but if it is affecting your ability to function and interact with others it might be worth considering. The Cancer Council is a good place to start. They have phone counseling which many women have found helpful at different stages of their treatment. It is ok to feel scared and sad but you don't want to spend too much time feeling like this. It won't do you or anyone around you any good. Sometimes you start to feel more in control once you start Chemo. I found it helped me to just focus on what I could do to help my body cope with treatment. I found exercising (I walk on a treadmill) to loud, inspiring music helped to lift my mood and keep me positive. I just kept challenging my fears. Hope you are feeling better soon. It is an emotional roller coaster but you don't want the down slopes to go on too long. Take care. Deanne xxxooo
mandycoop
Member
12 years ago
Today is a pretty shitty day i have to admit. My mind won't let me focus on the positives. I am obsessed with the 'what ifs'. Even if the chances of this never recurring are greater I can't switch it off.

I don't want to die!!!!
Deanne
Member
12 years ago
Glad to hear that your results were clear, Mandy. Robyn is right you will be amazed at the strength you will find as you progress. Just take it one hurdle at a time. Yay for you. Deanne xxx
mandycoop
Member
12 years ago
Thank you Robyn xxx
janinaj
Member
12 years ago
Wishing you good luck for today. Very good advice from Deanne andRobyn. If you can take someone then please do. If you can't make sure to ask them to print out everything they have read to you or to write it down for you so you can take it in later. You can do this. Courage always comes after the fact and you are stronger and more resilient and able to deal with this than you think you are. You have already proven that by reaching out. Let us know how you go today. Big virtual hugs and best wishes, Janina
Deanne
Member
12 years ago
For me it was 4 seasons of The Mentalist. It got me through Chemo as well. You just can't concentrate on anything else. I even found myself having to watch some episodes more than once because my mind would drift off and I would miss bits! I also found music and exercise helped. Let us know how you go. Xxxxoooo Deanne
Deanne
Member
12 years ago
Robyn is exactly right. You will feel better when you know. These first few weeks are the hardest but as you get over each hurdle you gain strength that will help you with the next one. I hope you have someone with you to be a second pair of ears because you will be given important info about the next part of treatment. My oncologist wrote everything down and I referred to that piece of paper many times. You just don't take everything in at this point. You can do this. Let us know how you go. xxxxoooo Deanne
janinaj
Member
12 years ago
Do you have any movies or tv shows you can distract yourself with? It's almost impossible to stop thinking about it I know and the fear can stop you from being able to function so it helps to 'zone out' if you can. With anything at all that works for you. Downton Abbey worked for me. Best x