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Candace's avatar
Candace
Member
12 years ago

Second time around

I am new to this but feel the need to touch base with others to see if the way I'm feeling is a common thing. My first diagnosis was in 2004. I was 44 and had no family history and generally fit and healthy. My husband found the lump and I went on to have a lumpectomy, full node clearance, chemotherapy and radiotherapy. Started on Tamoxafin which made me feel awful. Changed to arimadex which made me feel worse. Made the decision to not take any. After 2 years Had a total hysterectomy and bilateral oophrectomy to reduce my oestrogen levels. Thought all was well after 9 years. I'm now 53. Went for a routine mammo check and went on to have biopsy. Found to be cancer. The other breast had some tissue changes. Made the decision to have a bilateral mastectomy. I'm so glad I did as the tissue changes were early breast cancer. I am now taking arimadex. I have suffered depression for many years and can not take Tamoxafin with my medication. Since taking arimadex My coping with stress has disintegrated. I really need calm and quiet. I have short term memory problems. I'm finding decision making difficult. General foggy brain. I have lost confidence in my ability to socialise and of course my lack of breasts makes choosing what to wear tricky. I don't want a reconstruction as I couldn't cope with more surgery. I work part time in a job where I'm on my feet all day. I get home absolutely exhausted. I feel like I would like to retire. I have never been good at putting myself first. I was a nurse for 30 + years and a mum of 4. My role has always been one of giving. Are there others out there who feel like I do?

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  • Candace's avatar
    Candace
    Member
    12 years ago
    Hi Robyn, thanks so much for your response. I'm on a farm and probably a bit isolated too. I love that you walk or ride each day. I need to get more motivated for me time. X
  • Robyn_W's avatar
    Robyn_W
    Member
    12 years ago
    Hi Candace,I just wanted to say that it's great that you have posted on here about how you are feeling.I am not exactly like you ,but I think that after all that you have been through,it is NO WONDER that you feel exhausted,and have no confidence! I am a Mum of 3 and I also have some foster children that have lived with us for several years now.I can definitely relate to 'not good at putting yourself first',and I bet there are many others on here who feel the same way.Too many of us Mums put the rest of the family first,but in saying that,it's up to is to change it! Easier said than done though:)Is there any way that you could work less, then maybe have some time for yourself.Do you have any interests that you would like to follow.Since my mastectomy and chemo,( also chose not to have reconstruction)I have really enjoyed taking time to look after myself better.I eat better,I read more,and I walk or ride my bike,every day.Some people say that they are too tired for exercise,but it actually makes you feel better,and alleviates fatigue.I have found myself slipping back into old ways from time to time,but I am determined not to let this happen.I hope you can find a way to make time for yourself,and stay on this network,because it is very therapeutic,not only for you but other ladies that are in the same boat as you.TAKE CARE ((hug)) Robyn xox