Hi all.
Things ended up in an epic fail on the biopsy side yesterday. The radiologist guru still couldn't locate anything positive to target even with the positioning from the MRI, doing a recheck on the past mammos and spending a bloody eternity doing the u/sound. Anyone ever think it's somewhat odd that random strange men poking around your boobs is now normal and you don't even give a shit? Wow.
He said he had a good idea of where it was but "this will be a very unpleasant experience for an educated guess" read that as it's gonna hurt like heck (straight through through the nipple eeew) with a good chance I'll miss. I bailed on it and did a chicken run out of there. FTS. I don't want to spend days waiting on results from a guess, so I am glad he was honest about it.
I quizzed him a bit on the "scar evolution" (sounds like a rock band doesn't it?) and he was quite non commital and vague about scars growing.
A straight out question on what else it could be was "possibly scar tissue, some benign cyst , fat necrosis, fibrodadenoma thingy or well.....you know what.
Better out than in though right?
So somewhat ironically Monday is 3yrs from DDay. My girls turn twenty one on Thursday which brings on a bit of dejavu as I wait for shitty crap news a few days before a milestone birthday. By the time I get back to theatre (current BS on holidays for three weeks, mine still on maternity leave and possibly not as minor a procedure as first led to believe) it will be very close to 3yrs from the first surgery. I haven't even spoken to this surgeon, I know who he is and that's about it. Anyway, really beyond caring at the moment who's doing it so long as it's gone. Then the wait to see what the bloody thing is.
Here we fucking go again. Nobody is saying the C word yet, including me but seriously, WTF ?????????? My DH is dirty as anything, reckons none of the doctors know what they are doing, their machines aren't worth a piece of horse shit and I "should have cut that fucker off straight up" Jeeeesus, lucky I know that's him scared to death. LOL Cowboys go figure, Not good at feelings. Can't hide the watery eyes though can he?
Hope that all made sense. A lovely bottle of Traminer Riesling and I have had a serious date this afternoon. Apologies for typos, bad spelling and grammar, curse words, nonsensical stuff blahdy blah etc etc etc. Luckily there is a second bottle chilling.
Thanks for listening again lovelies.
What doesn't kill you right??????????
xoxoxooxo
