Scan day freaking sucks......yet again. Probable curse words included.
With only minor trepidation and my shit mostly together I went to clinic today to get my results. I stopped to give a co worker that had just been diagnosed (MOFO BC) a hug and a shoulder to cry on for a bit while we were waiting. I heard my name called and promised her she would get through and I would be happy to help if I could in any way. She thanked me with that smile you put on when you are trying so hard not to burst into tears and your heart is aching as I waltzed on in to the doctors office. Well the whole thing went sideways and turned into me leaving work in a shaky, teary eyed mess. My goodness this thing still rocks you when least expect it. Here we go again with another fucking ambiguous result about the mystical eliptical thingamajjigy that has taken up residence in the rogue boob. Said thingy has decided to grow 2mm in 6 months. BIRAIDS score now moved up from a 3 to a 4 and hey lets poke a needle in it this time. This presents a problem. Considering the MRI is still the only machine that can see thingy (again it can't be felt by anyone either) and it's positioning, it is probable that a biopsy can't be done in the MRI machine. Still waiting on an answer for that one. So do we just poke around in there and try to hit it?? Cut it out or off just for the heck of it? No body is prepared to say it is anything sinister nor are they prepared to say it's not. Seriously, can someone please tell me how, for the love of god, you can have 4 MRI's, 4 mammograms and 6 u/sounds in a period of 12 months and still not know what this is or isn't. So as it sits, back to headlining the MDT on Thursday to get input from group of guru's as quote "my breast don't scan normally". Another targetted u/s on Friday. And wait for an answer on whether the biopsy can be done by MRI. Waiting waiting waiting yet again. Fuckity fuck fuck. I am sick of this roller coaster. I want to get off and my money back. Mental status right now = somewhere between zoned out numbness and seriously pissed off. Strongly considering ostrich tactics at the moment. Thanks for listening. :/
Had my Yearly Scans & MRI today - 2 years since detection ... the waiting game begins ... yet again!
Today, I had my 'yearly' mammogram, ultrasound & a new one, MRI - as I've been having numb/tingling in my left leg/foot & arm/hands - I almost thought I had 'dropsy' at one stage, as my left foot kept 'dropping' & catching the ground as I walked! grrr Fingers crossed all is good - could be compressed nerves. Maybe it is a side effect from my meds - or could be the result of an old injury raising it's ugly head after 20 years .... My original 'lump detection' was in Nov '17 & Xmas/New Year was totally stuffed until I received my positive diagnosis on Jan 5, 2018. I had my surgery in mid Jan '18, then radiation leading up to Easter & hormone treatment ever since with 3 changes in meds. Currently on Arimidex with the least side effects, so far! Long may it last. Late last year - I had a call back in Nov after my 'first year reviews' but I didn't actually have the biopsy til Xmas Eve due to a major stuff up by the Imaging Company! Once again, Xmas & New year was totally stuffed!! So this year, I organised my 'yearly tests' to be a month earlier - so now they can't blame the 'Xmas Rush' for any stuff ups this year! Fingers crossed I don't get another call back! My Ultrasound specialist today (who I have total faith in!) actually confirmed that from July - Oct, the Ultrasound/Mammogram numbers are LOWER (maybe due to the cold or the rain) and then increase again from Oct-Dec, putting pressure on the services! Weird, eh? Take care - all the best for your own treatment ..... xxx
