Round One

I feel like I'm in a boxing match - 6 rounds, lasting three weeks each. In the blue corner is Tammy...in the red corner is cancer...tacky I know, but how I feel. So nearly time for round two. Round one has had its challenges. Having chemo wasn't nearly as scary as I thought. The nurses were so nice and supportive and there was even a nice volunteer who made coffee and brought out bikkies and sandwiches and water. The only scary part was when the nurse put on her gloves, gown, cap and goggles to administer the chemotherapy. Three different bags of liquid. One bright red. All toxic. Going into my body. It didn't hurt but I was exhausted afterwards. Straight away they give you an anti-nausea regime. I was fairly nauseated but the drugs helped. They last for three days. Since then I've been slightly nauseated most days. The worst thing I think is the headaches and fatigue. Most days I wake up with a headache that is quite hard to get rid of. Im exhausted by 5pm. Throat ulcers arrived this week - making swallowing difficult. I'm on a 2 hourly mouth rinsing regime for that one. On day 10 I had blood tests and my neurophils and white blood counts were low. This means fighting infection is hard. I have to be careful going in crowds, to shops, etc. I have to take my temperature twice a day. If it gets to 38c straight to hospital. On day 15 blood counts were still low, so it's quarantine for me now - working from home rather than the germ collecting office LOL. More blood tests today, but should be allowed back in public now. I started back at work the day after chemo - working from home a couple of days and in the office a couple of days. Mostly I've been ok, still able to function and going to kids activities, etc. Now the big challenge - three days ago my hair started falling out. Little bits everytime I put my hands through my hair. Now it's become weirdly painful. It's like I can feel the hair separating from my scalp. Each day more and more comes out, especially in the shower. Hands covered in hair. So today's the day I shave it off. I'm mortified but once again I have no choice. I feel like having cancer has really hit me now - from today I'm going to look like a cancer patient. It's hard to take. I have wigs and scarves already but even then, once my eyebrows and eyelashes go there will be no hiding it. I think that's what's hard. Until now I could hide that I have breast cancer but no more. Off to Brisbane tomorrow for a mother daughter weekend before I go back into the ring for round two on Monday. A few 'bumps and bruises' from the first round but I'm still on my feet. Happy mothers day to all the Mums who read this! Tammy xx