Recon choices

@Megs04, sorry I'm a bit late as you will have already seen your surgeon today.  When I,  like @melclarity had a recurrence I wanted an immediate mastectomy and remove my other breast and have immediate reconstruction.  Very soberingly my surgeon said we need to get you into a chemo chair before we even do a reconstruction on one side. He said if at the time of reconstruction I still wanted my other breast off we could do it then.   Soooo I had a single mastectomy, got on with treatment and during that time I did a lot of research.  I had had radiation and realised that an implant would cause me issues so I decided to go for the tissue transfer.  I had my other breast off at the time of reconstruction (2 years down the track). My recovery was as follows. I was out of hospital in 5 days, not moving very far though.  I went back to work part time 6 weeks later.  My full recovery was probably another 6 weeks on.  One thing you could consider would be an expander inserted at time of mastectomy (@nikkid did this).  Then you have a bit of time on your hands to make an informed choice.  I think you are in the recon group and there are many photo stories to look at in there if you feel that may help.  Definitely no right or wrong here, only what's right for you.
Hugs
Paula xxxx

I can imagine putting yourself out there for a possible relationship is going to be difficult (hell - it'd be difficult at any time) and having two breasts would give you more confidence, but would you really want to be with someone who couldn't deal with the reality of bc?  Easy to say, I know - much harder to do.  It's almost impossible to make a good decision when your brain is too full of anxiety to think properly.  But whichever way you go @megs04, it's your decision - as long as you're getting the right info to base it on.

@Megs04 Making decisions during cancer treatment is really hard. Try not to overthink it. Big hugs

Hi all thanks for your responses. Im not being pushed into recon. I wanted it over and done with but i know its not as simple as that. Most of it is because i just want to get o  with my life. I want to study next year which ive deferred already becasuse of this. Ill have to work full time too due to finances too. So thinking at minimum next 2 years will be too busy to do recon so another delay.and i want to find a partner and was trying to meet someone before this after being single for many many years. So there are all these things running through my mind. Its confusing and frustrating and can i deal with the recon id go implant process atm with new job or have to wait. This cancer makes me over think everything and im actually sick of having to think.

@Megs04 Hi! well I can definitely relate to you, ive been exactly in your position. I had my recurrence in 2015 and Id just transferred 5 months earlier to a new school! I had to have chemo this time and was so sick had to take term 4 off. They didnt renew my contract so I had to revert back to my previous School, which was actually a blessing. I however didnt have to have the mastectomy/recon til a year later as I was already treated and had a major lumpectomy. I also had teenage kids, working full time and flying solo. it WAS HARD! financially I had savings but Centrelink wouldnt help and I had no choice but to do income protection for 2yrs but that was only for 2 days and I worked 3. The recon is massive, I had a diep and was off for 2 months. I don't think there's an easy and quick way to do it. When did you finish treatment? 

I could be wrong but it sounds like you're being pushed a bit into having a recon @Megs04.  And it's really difficult to make a good decision when you're anxious and stressed.  There is absolutely no rush unless it's because you really can't deal with being flat.  My surgeon actually refused to consider it until 15 months after my mastectomy (but I was going to be having rads) as he said that I needed to heal properly first.  At that time he also said that he didn't want to do the other side.  When I did go in for the May appointment, my skin still too tight but at that time he told me that he would do both when I was ready if I decided that the scanxiety got too much.  And you only get one go at this surgery.

I don't know if I will ever have the recon.  It is a major, major op and recovery is long.  I do know though, that there is no deadline on having it - you can put it off for 10 years if you want to and even in the public sector it will then only be a few months on the waiting list.  This has been reinforced by the speakers at the BCNA Conference yesterday and they are talking about the Adelaide experience (Flinders).

As I understand it, for a TRAM or DIEP (which is what I would also be having if I do) you will be at least 7 days in hospital.  Then it is 11-12 week recovery.  That's if it all goes to plan.  Then you will probably have at least 2 more ops down the track for revision and nipples.

I don't want to put you off if it's what you really need to do - only you know how you're feeling, but I'm not sure if the impact of the operation has been well explained.  Of course, I've never done it but it's hard to imagine that you will be fit to start a new job, particularly when you need to really impress, so soon after the surgery.

Whatever you decide to do, good luck and look after yourself.

Hi Megs04, all bc decisions are difficult and it maybe that you need to ask more questions from your medical team.My motto is that if you’re not sure then don’t do it until you are. Are you having a full node clearance or just the sentinal node? This alone can make for an easier or harder recovery. Hopefully the surgeon will  get clear margins but this doesn’t always happen. My friend had to go back a week later for more surgery due to non clear margins even though she’d had a mastectomy.You need to ask your surgeon about this.
With any surgery,it may not go to plan. I recovered in about 3wks after a mastectomy but even so,had to have a seroma drained twice a week for 5wks.Both types of recon can be done later(years even).Flaneuse is right, you need to ask if you need an expander prior implant because that takes time to fill.A straight out mastectomy will get you back to work in about 2-3wks - not much pain involved unless you have a full aux node clearance as well.If new work is the priority then this is your quickest option.But if you can’t get your head around being lopsided then an implant is your next quickest option.I can only speak for myself and I’ve coped ok with a prosthesis as I couldn’t make my mind up about recon either!

You can have an implant and if you change your mind do a TRAM or DIEP later. However the TRAM/DIEP is a once only.

Full recovery from TRAM/DIEP is three months. Many get up and running sooner, but don't underestimate the recovery process. It is major surgery.

I had a DIEP and am happy with it. I like having warm mounds of my own flesh on my chest. No regrets.

Have you used the Breconda process? It might help.

https://breconda.bcna.org.au/

K xox

@Megs04 Not sure if the surgeons have told you, but having an implant isn't over and done with immediately - unless you have a very small bosom and they insert the implants when they do the mastectomy. If you're bigger, they put in an expander and gradually expand it every few weeks until it reachers the appropriate size, then replace it with the implant. It also depends on whether you'll need to have radiation later. Perhaps you need more information from your health team. Don't feel pushed into anything. And yes, if you have reconstruction, you can change your mind later. I had an expander put in at mastectomy and 18 months later I'm having it removed and going flat (on 8 Aug).
Starting a new role is unfortunate timing. You'll need time off work. You need to talk to your medical team about that. Don't expect too much of yourself.
Take care.  <3

It’s understandable that you don’t want to wait but you have a lot on your plate at once. Everyone wants to put the whole experience in the past but many people find taking time to make significant decisions limited the chance of any regret later on. Which isn’t part of putting it all behind. If there are really strong reasons to go ahead now, itemise then and consider them as calmly as you can. But if not, waiting until you have your work and other considerations a bit more settled may be worthwhile. Best wishes whatever you decide.