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Blossom1961's avatar
Blossom1961
Member
7 years ago

Out of hiding

Five weeks ago (three weeks before my mastectomy) I went into hiding from my family and friends and their negativity. My daughters and Husband as well as my new BC friends were the only ones who had access to me other than medical persons. On Sunday I went to church and spoke to my paster about trauma and chemo mental health issues. He was shocked and asked me to educate him. Another lady in the church has just been diagnosed and her first response to me was, "I didn't realise we were saying the wrong things until I was given the diagnose. Then I realised".
 I feel much better after my hiding break and being able to talk about mental/emotional issues has released so much frustration. I am yet to come out of hiding from my negative mother and sister but wil have to do that before Christmas. I just need to plan on doing something positive after I have spoken to them. I am a long way from the strong me that was but I am trying to embrace the me that is. Have a happy day my lovely friends.

coping
diagnosis
  • Wonk's avatar
    Wonk
    Member
    7 years ago
    Hi @Blossom1961, my mother has always disappointed her when I needed her most. It has been 1 month since my diagnosis and 3 weeks since surgery. My parents live 1 1/2 hours away and have not yet been to visit. Instead they sent me a cheque (which I won’t cash). All I wanted was a visit.
    If there’s anything to be learnt from what we’re going through is how to be a better person to others who are going through life’s challenges.
    And surround yourself with friends who love and support you, including cyber BC friends here. As @arpie said you have to have a laugh along the way.  Take care xxx
  • arpie's avatar
    arpie
    Member
    7 years ago
    Well said, @Blossom1961  -  we are treading a difficult enough path without having extra boulders put in the way.

    I am glad your Pastor and other parishioner were receptive to you discussing the issue - and no doubt, it will trickle down thru the church community & beyond to families who may or may not have family members with cancer - just on how to approach them & what NOT to say. 

    Sadly, there are always one or two who are either in denial or not sure how to respond to the news ..... I think it makes them face their own mortality and they are just plain scared ...... or maybe they think it is catchy??  I don't know!   I just try not to associate with those people - so well done for going into hiding for your own sanity & mental & physical well being - as well as that of your immediate family.

    My sister is a bit of a whacky one too - I know that within hours of catching up, she'll be shaking her head, rolling her eyes & will eventually scream at me ..... cos she always does!  Sad, but real.  Thank GOD she lives in another state!  ;)   We love each other when we are apart - but scratch each other's eyes out when together!  You'd think after 65 years that we'd sort it out!  NUP!

    All the best with your ongoing recovery & treatment - keep us up to date with the goings on - chuck in a laugh or two ..... laughter is the best medicine ..... and just take care xxxx