My story

Thank you Marci, for taking the time to respond to my post. I'm still struggling mentally and physically to come to terms with what has happened to me. It feels like a particularly harsh blow, I question what was it that I had done that led to me having to endure such despair and sorrow. The 'why me' question is the one that I desperately want an answer to, but i suspect i will never find an answer for. Why is it that others get to live cancer free lives, where as we - the chosen ones - are made to suffer?

Thank you for the kind and encouraging words. I have read the older posts on this forum and it's comforting to know there are women out there who has gone through a similar (or different) BC journey, that I am not alone in this.

I wish you all the very best, take good care.

YL

P2T - Thank you so much for taking the time to respond to my post and also offering words of encouragement and support. I hope that in time I will come to accept what has happened to me, but for now, I just can't get past the feelings of despair, helplessness and anger. 

I am very happy to hear that you have found strength in navigating through your BC journey. I wish you all the very best with the reconstructive surgery.

Much love and healing to you too P2T.

YLY

Hi there

your diagnosis was the same day as me. Mine was 4 days before my sons first birthday.

i am only 30 but I have had all those feelings too but I feel like I had something to learn from this. I as yourself was always very active and ate as well as I could. Since my diagnosis I have changed my eating even more and tried to shift my focus of being the best possible version of myself to get through this as best I can. I wish you all the best with your journey xx

Oh YLY, reading your post takes me back to March this year when I was diagnosed at 37. I'm not going to say it gets easier, because some days it feels harder, but I do feel that I am getting stronger that each day passes, more able to move forward and even some days I go about my business and some little thing will happen and then in my head, or even out loud, I say "oh crap, that's right I have cancer!", and I am just coming to the end of my chemo, radiation still to go.

One thing I did was told my support network that I need to maintain my sense of humour and I have to say I have gained a very warped view of this journey and am often laughing at things I thought I would never have to do like use night time sanitary pads as fluid collectors on my boobs post surgery, and my husband thought that solution up, gotta love them!

I sought out a psychologist that I feel comfortable with, went through 2 before I found the one for me and I call her my baggage carousel! I go in drop my baggage off (cry, laugh, get angry, sometimes fall asleep), and walk out lighter. I didn't have this support for the first 6 weeks post diagnosis and I got to breaking point and realised I needed someone not in my circle of family and friends to help me. Highly recommend and you can get a mental health assessment and plan from your gp which helps with the cost. 

This is a great place to vent and ask questions. Massive hugs to you, know that you are not alone, you are strong but you don't always have to be so reach out and ask for help when you need it.

xx

All the feelings you describe are completely normal and you have every right to feel them. I felt and feel exactly the same. I am 44 and was diagnosed last year on the 1st Of October with her2 metastatic breast cancer that has spread to my liver and bones, this was my initial diagnosis! And just before treatment the cancer decided to fracture my spine.

All I can say to you is you will have your good and bad days. But as time goes on you will find it that little bit easier to not accept ( I will never accept it ) but you will find it easier to deal with. I find that talking to other people with cancer helps because they understand your feelings. Also I find that continuing to focus on your health will make you feel like you have some sort of control. I see a phycologist as well which I find helpful.... I wish you all the best in health big hugs! xox 

YLY...... I'm always so sad to hear everyones B.C story everyday, I am especially sad to read your post as I wish I could ensure you that you can do this, you will get through it, you will have your family, and you will smile again like you did before...I say this because I have to believe it too.

It's so hard, it really is and the cliche day by day thing is the only thing that will keep your head above water. I'm sending you a big hug, energy and healing light. Listen to your doctor, see a naturopath to keep you strong through everything, do your own research, talk to woman on your same path and I promise the confusion will lift a little, the haze and exhaustion all gets a little better once you have made decisions, educated yourself and taken a little control of what you are about to endure.

I was diagnosed in November, Left Mastectomy on Jan 8th, chemo, second (by choice) right mastectomy on August 5th, and now only my reconstruction to go.....I have a strong family history so my doctor advised a double in the beginning, I didn't listen but ended up doing it anyway.... I am stronger everyday through this B.C adventure .....we are all different but I believe you will find this out also.

Much Love and healing light. 

Penny xxx