mastectomy blues

Its been 4 weeks tomorrow since the loss of "dd day" and have i had my ups and downs. After my skin sparing mastectomy my pain now comes in spasms and so do my emotions. I can cry for hours. It seems to be a weekly occurance. I am getting upset about everything from not gardening to cant sleep on my side. I hate my carpet, furniture, my renovations are taking forever, I am not working, not making money, I want to go to yoga. I want to garden and vac my pool etc etc etc I could go on.

As for my update. My pathology results finally came after 3 weeks. I have grade 2 invasive ductal cancer and multiple dcis in same area. Surgeon was unable to locate nodes and therefore were not tested (which scares me) I am off to the oncologist next week to discuss treatment. Will I have to have chemo???????

My skin is doing great. My nipple is still trying hard and it might just hang in there. I had another 100mls injected and the boob is looking and feeling quite big. I still look like a moster when i look in the mirror. I just can't wait til my reduction and fix up which has been scheduled for Feb March. I am dreading going through the pain and inconvenience again but this is a journey that can not be controlled.

So that's about it from miserable old me. I can still put on my happy face when required. So good at facades. xxxx

Love to you all xxxx