mastectomy blues

Yep go with what you would like to do with your hair while you have got it.  We all tend to go shorter and shorter before it falls out and then when it grows back mmmmmm what colour will it be, will it be straight or curly.  All that to wait and look forward to. 

Stay happy as you can hun as it will help you to feel better as well but when those sad days hit just go with them cause we are all very much allowed to have them.

I am having one today and you know what I am soooooo allowed to have one so I am but I will snap out of it and I will.  We have friends coming for a quick easy dinner and then girlfriend and I are off to my new yoga classes I found and am luving so I will perk back up again I am sure.

Lots of love today, tomorrow and always, Mich xoxoxoxo

Yep Mich, sure am.......starting chemo in a couple of weeks!  Got some Xmas shopping done and am off to have lunch with a very old friend today. 

I will look so funny with no hair. I actually going to go and have my hair cut short before and get used to it. It is probably what most of us do leading up to it. I may even go dark......try out something different whilst I can!

xxxxxx

Yayyyyyy I am so glad you are smiling again hun.

Are you truly doing okay?

Lots of love, Mich xoxoxoxo

I had tears in my eyes reading your reply to Kel. You are such an inspiration to us you know.

I'm so glad your 'sleeping beauty' routine is over. I hope you have some positive results from it.

I have another quote to add for friendship....

HAPPINESS HELD IS THE SEED; HAPPINESS SHARED IS THE FLOWER.

For all my Pink Sisters

Love Janey xxx

Hey Kel

It upsets me to know you are so sad.  Your pic shows you so happy.

You will be finding it hard because as you said so yourself in your post you can't be in control as you travel this journey you have unfortunately found yourself on. Somehow I think you would find that hard as it sounds like you are in control in a lot of areas of your life.

Remember that you don't have to always put on a facade. People don't expect you to be on top of the world all the time.  It is so okay to cry.  Crying is very healing.  With all that you are going through if you didn't cry people would be worried.

I agree that the waiting is the most frustrating and hardest thing on this journey.  It is so much better when we have a plan no matter what that plan may be.  Only your oncologist will know if you need chemo or not. 

I found with what i have been through that laughter does definitely help you get by.  I watched funny DVD's while in the chamber sometimes and they lifted my spirits so much.  A good belly laugh is great medicine I think, the louder the better.  One good thing in the chamber was that no one could hear me.  I had a few sessions of crying in there as well but i changed my mindset and turned to funny videos which changed my thoughts.

Stay strong precious, we are all here to give you the patience, the strength and the courage to get through.  I made myself a lil shrine and put up some inspiration things and pics of people that inspire me and one of the things was "Stay strong Michele" on a tag of a BCNA pink lady and the other one from Janey that I say every day is

May the sun shine all day long,

everything go right and nothing go wrong,

May those you love bring love back to you,

and may all the wishes you wish come true".  I was so grateful to Janey for this.

Even though my hyperbaric is over I am not taking those inspirational things down as I am also maybe going down the same path as yourself and I will need their strength.  It might be you giving me encouragement soon my sweet.

Stay strong my luvly but also cry if you want to cause that is definitely okay also.  Lots of love always, Mich xoxo

I'm at the same stage as you Kel.  I didn't have any skin saving, just a single mastectomy for a 5.6cm tumour.  I got my pathology results the Wednesday after my op.  I'm triple negative and there are no lymph nodes involved.  I will be heading for chemo for the same reason as Jenny, because the cancer was large and invasive.

I'm now impatient to get the chemo happening but I put off going to oncology because I wanted to do an intensive journalism course that I had been waiting months for.  I lasted 4 of the 6 days.  It was too much, I became too tired, too sore going back and forth on the train to Brisbane each day (1 hour each way) and as a consequence my emotions were beginning to fray.  I'm not one who easily lets go of something but I had to make a decision.  Either keep going and make myself sick or in my son's words "sit mum!"

Yes I hear you on everything sucks.  I've had to watch my mother (5ft nothing) lift bags of potting mix and plant things for me.  That's the first time I haven't had the strength to do it myself.  I mowed lawns in a mowing business till I was 8 months pregnant.

It's a tough pill but you need to find something to occupy your mind and hands that doesn't involve pain or strength.  Renovations can be left for the boys and you can be project manager and boss them around....a lot!  Can you do things like choosing accessories, paint colours, curtains, buying nick nacks?  I'm one for anything crafty.  Have a look at Pinterest if you don't already.

Another suggestion, I'm big on constant learning as well.  See if you can find a MOOC (massive open online course) that interests you and sign up.  You never know what you will learn :)  Try Coursera, or if you are interested in a degree like I am doing have a look at Open Universities Australia.  I think my studies are what is keeping me sane while I wait.

You're welcome to keep me up to date with where you're at.  BTW, it is a good idea to organise wigs, hats, scarves about now so that you are ready for chemotherapy.  If you have a Cancer Council office nearby phone and make an appointment to see what they have.  They loan everything for free.

Cas

Hi Kel

I had mastectomy 5 weeks ago today - same diagnosis of invasive DCIS and DCIS's....none found in lymph nodes...and I had my first chemo a week and a half ago (they recommended chemo due to my invasive component being 3.8cm).

So, you will find out soon what your treatment will be...I think the worst part is all the waiting - once you have a plan perhaps you wil feel less stressed.  I have days of feeling ok about it all.....then days of feeling like a misery guts! I have found keeping active as best I can is my solution to keeping happier and feeling more sane!  But I guess we're all gonna have good and bad days and just accept them as they happen......

Best of luck...Jenny x

Big hugs to you Kel, it is tough and your emotions are all over the place after surgery, but cry when you need to, dont bottle it up.

Each day will get just a little bit better, short outings out really help. The change of scenery keeps you sane. Let the frustration of not being to do the things you normally do just wash over you, I cant believe I used to be in tears that I couldnt go to work and be normal....:). Now after 8 weeks back at work after 6 months off I think I was crazy....lol. Good luck with all your results, I will be thinking of you, Love jackie.....and as my beautiful best friend said to me.....Be gentle with yourself!