Looking for answers

Hi all, went to the physio yesterday afternoon and she has started desensitization therapy to deal with the deep pain that I have during sex. This is separate to the entry pain, which is caused by insufficient lubrication, and is likely exacerbated by the various bc treatments, particularly being lop-sided for 2 years due to my mastectomy which worsened my balance and posture (which was already a bit dodgy due to pre-existing scoliosis) and so my pelvic region is completely out of alignment, yay!!

The reconstruction I had last year has actually improved my balance by having a similar weight back up on top, but because things have been out of whack for a while, the muscles etc are tight and inflexible all down my right side, including my hip flexors and pelvic floor region (thus the pain).

I was interested to read your comments Pam as it sounds as though you did something very similar when you had your hysterectomy. 

So this is basically what the therapy is: vaginal exercises to relax the area (so Julie it is a sort of vaginal pilates!!! which btw when I mentioned that to the physio she thought was very funny but quite an accurate description re outcome!!), and includes pelvic floor exercises, targeted breathing and stretching, acupuncture and massage.

My first appointment consisted of acupuncture and massage to the pelvic area & lower back to improve blood flow - never had acupuncture before but it made an immediate difference to the lower abdominal area which was really tight due to the reconstruction and subsequent scarring and it really softened the whole area up. She also got me working on my pelvic floor through visualization, consciously moving targeted parts of my body and deep breathing. Apparently next week she does some internal massage / stretching stuff - she didn't want to do that first up as she felt we should get to know each other a bit better first!! The things we do....;-)

I have 5 sessions all together at this stage, which my lovely GP has included in an allied health plan, so getting most of the cost back through Medicare.

Anyway, thanks too for the reminders re Yes moisturiser - have ordered some now and looking forward to trying it out!   

Jane xx

Hi Jane and Julie - I'd be really interested too, to hear how you go with the physio. I went to a specialist physio re pelvic floor exercises when I had a hysterectomy a few years ago - she was very good.

Jane, re Yes. I've been using the water based vaginal moisturiser, and also the oil based lubricant on my partner. If you absolutely slather on the oil lubricant - on both of you - I've found it really does help lessen the pain significantly. You can buy it all online - if you get the big bag of moisturisers it qualifies as a bulk buy, and you also get free postage from the UK. It's really worth a try. I've got some Replens left over, and I really don't like it after using Yes. Best of luck with it all, Pam.

God help me if its a thing..... but i would sign up!  keen for any solution!

Love the idea of vaginal pilates...that could be a thing right?! Anyway, will certainly let you know what's involved - I'm just as in the dark as you, but I'm game to try anything at this stage - although the pilates could be a stretch!! (pun intended ;-) xx

Hi Jane

No I havent but I know others in this forum have so maybe they will have some experience they can share.  It is not a thing that my husband would want to do.  As long as he is getting regular sex he thinks he is ok but it is not nearlly as interesting or passionate as it used to be.  I just cant seem to get myself in the required headspace regardless of any physical enticement!  Im just hoping to find a female viagra!  It would be so good if we could just take a pill!  Lol  

If  you find the replens/sylk is not working I sugges you try the yes.  I changed and it has made an amazing difference for me - but we are all different.

Keen to hear how the physio goes and what they actually do?  I have visions of vaginal pilates..... ordinary pilates is difficult enough!

Cheers

Julie

Good to hear from you as always. It's so important to know that others are in the same situation, it makes you feel far less alone and I appreciate your understanding, warmth and advice.

I'm hoping the physio will be a useful addition to the current Replens / Sylk combo and will help relieve the physical pain, but like you, I am also struggling with lack of desire, which I guess is largely a result of the anxiety and other emotional turmoil built up over the past few years. Getting my head in the game is an enormous challenge and I'm wondering whether I (we?) should look counselling if my libido doesn't improve. What do you think? Have you been down that path?Jane xx

yes it is a rough ride you have been on.  It is hard to get  your head around managing the physical side effects such as painful sex and dealing with the lack of desire that either accompanies it or exists by itself.  The guilt that can come with it where we feel so sorry for our partners just confuses me at times.

Good to hear you are seeing a physio.  There are quite a few posts on here where women have tried various remedies for vaginal skin issues and painful sex.  I hope there is something there that will help you.

As for libido - I am still looking for something that will help me with that.  It is hard not to mourn for that previously easy passion I had.  Not giving up though.  Someone one day will find something that helps.  Thank you for joining into the forum.  We are a friendly bunch and the anonimity that the blogging gives us helps when we are discussing such personal topics.

Love Julie

yes it is a rough ride you have been on.  It is hard to get  your head around managing the physical side effects such as painful sex and dealing with the lack of desire that either accompanies it or exists by itself.  The guilt that can come with it where we feel so sorry for our partners just confuses me at times.

Good to hear you are seeing a physio.  There are quite a few posts on here where women have tried various remedies for vaginal skin issues and painful sex.  I hope there is something there that will help you.

As for libido - I am still looking for something that will help me with that.  It is hard not to mourn for that previously easy passion I had.  Not giving up though.  Someone one day will find something that helps.  Thank you for joining into the forum.  We are a friendly bunch and the anonimity that the blogging gives us helps when we are discussing such personal topics.

Love Julie

Thanks so much for your message. Let's hope that this is one area we can reclaim back! I see my physio on Wednesday and I'll let you know how it all goes. Jane xx

Thanks so much for your message. Let's hope that this is one area we can reclaim back! I see my physio on Wednesday and I'll let you know how it all goes. Jane xx