Long journeys

Hey Karel. Happy belated birthday wishes to you. So glad you have such great support around you. I think we all know where you are coming from. It is often hard to get up each day and paint on a smiley face. Yes it protects others and yes it can make us feel brighter (& sometimes that takes a while) but yes that effort alone can be so exhausting.. I suspect because we know it is just a bandaid that covers the surface.. and that cancer be it gone forever or not is always that cloud hovering over us. It is hard to ignore but we have made it this far so we are stronger than we know and importantly we are not alone, we have each other and we know exactly how you feel. Keep taking good care of yourself and try to find some happy relaxing time each day. 

Happy belated birthday Karel and I hope this coming year brings you much better health ??????????????????

Makes all the sense in the world to be feeling the way you feel and rants are a great way to get some of those feelings out of the system. Hot to have abreak and let that dam burst every now. I hope the rest of the day went well 

Jel.

Hi Karel, your feelings sound totally normal to me. Glad that you're doing something nice for yourself each day, it's like giving yourself a hug and that's important. Glad you came here to vent, as we all understand. 

Sending you a big cuddle, Trace ????????

I have days I make the effort to look like I'm  coping. I wear makeup, choose clothing carefully and coordinate my hat and scarf. Other days I just can't  do it. I cry just figuring out which scarf to wear or if I can't  tie it how I want. I can't  be stuffed putting on makeup to conceal my sallow colour and dark rings. I can imagine a birthday just highlights the difficult journey we are on and in the back of our heads we are wondering how many more of these have we got. You don't  have to be strong for others. Just do want you can for you. If its a bad day let it be just that. ..it will pass. Take care. Kath x

Wow. Thank you so much for your caring and encouraging words. I have realised that really if you haven't travelled the road you do not know where the bumps are. Aren't we lucky to have this forum and know that others really understand. Wishing everyone well.

????

Karel

Happy birthday to you. Thank goodness my birthday was already finished when I got the bc verdict. Being happy during Christmas was hard enough to fake, my heart just wasn't in it.

Sorry Karel! I mispelled your name....blurry chemo eyes!

Apologies.

Happy Birthday Karen!

It's OK to feel the way you're feeling. I found myself being overly upbeat sometimes and pretending to be happy, when in fact I just wanted to scream at everyone to get out! Now about the only thing I do to "protect" others from my illness is wear a hat when young children are visiting and when I go out....if I'm having a bad day, why should I make others feel better about my illness? I found through this I was constantly reassuring others and some days you just don't feel like propping everyone else up....I'm glad that our are seeking help too...it doesn't make you weak, it makes you real. Have you tried mediation?....simple meditation is great to clear your mind. The mind is a powerful thing and its all to easy to let it control our situation.

This journey is a day by day trip, no itinerary, we travel a long experiencing the beautiful with the ugly.....take the love and beauty you get out of it and absorb it......use it to get you through.....pull back, release, breathe......

Sending you love and light Karen.

Xx <3 xX

Sending hugs for your birthday.  

Anne-Marie

Hi Karel, wish I could find the right words to make you feel more content. My thoughts are with you and   I hope you can find comfort in knowing so many of us really know and understand what you are going through.  Every morning I wake up and touch my head with its 1cm growth and still can't believe this has happened to me. I have just finished 6 mths of chemo and about to start one month of Radiothreapy....but I still can't believe what I have been through.

I like you have a wonderful family and great friends and this is such a blessing.

Don't ever be too hard on yourself and keep posting. 

Anne-Marie

??