I hit the wall

I hope you are feeling better today.  Anyway I guess I have 'never been backwards in coming forwards' so I just told my family and close friends it was all about me now.  Haha.  I also reminded myself of this by attaching a cut out segment from a support booklet from one of the cancer support groups that said "Its all about me" on my fridge door.   Serioulsy though your blog touched my heart and I trust with the help of the ladies on this forum and your own strength you will cope with what is thrown at you.

Good luck.

Gay

Sometimes a simple rant is just the best. I found in the first 2 weeks of diagnosis with MRI biopsies etc, along with tears and fears, every evening sitting on the lounge with husband and sons (19 & 22) I would tell them where I was up to with drs etc. as my girlfriend would come with on my all my initial medical appointments. We would cry hug and 'cry laugh'. I simply told them that while I am normally the one who makes sure things are running as smoothly as possible in the household but this was something new to me and I was feeling as lost as them. Once we knew what my treatment plan was we all felt a little more back on track, sometimes I would cry by myself when I went for a walk, sometimes cry in the shower and other times just simply say ' you know I am having a feel sorry for myself day today' and that would be met by a hug. I don't have the best relationship with my parents and a couple of siblings so I didn't expect miraculous family reconciliations so the level of support I got from them was what I expected and I was and still am OK with that, one brother on the other hand I am very close to and he was wonderful. I agree with the other ladies that being upfront with feelings etc is what I found easier for me and for family and friends. Wishing you a very happy Mother's Day and hope your days get a little better each time. Take care Fiona

Sometimes a simple rant is just the best. I found in the first 2 weeks of diagnosis with MRI biopsies etc, along with tears and fears, every evening sitting on the lounge with husband and sons (19 & 22) I would tell them where I was up to with drs etc. as my girlfriend would come with on my all my initial medical appointments. We would cry hug and 'cry laugh'. I simply told them that while I am normally the one who makes sure things are running as smoothly as possible in the household but this was something new to me and I was feeling as lost as them. Once we knew what my treatment plan was we all felt a little more back on track, sometimes I would cry by myself when I went for a walk, sometimes cry in the shower and other times just simply say ' you know I am having a feel sorry for myself day today' and that would be met by a hug. I don't have the best relationship with my parents and a couple of siblings so I didn't expect miraculous family reconciliations so the level of support I got from them was what I expected and I was and still am OK with that, one brother on the other hand I am very close to and he was wonderful. I agree with the other ladies that being upfront with feelings etc is what I found easier for me and for family and friends. Wishing you a very happy Mother's Day and hope your days get a little better each time. Take care Fiona

I'm glad you let all that out. It can be so hard when you don't get what you need from others when you are going through this crisis. There is a pamphlet that comes in your BCNA My Journey Kit that is meant to be given to friends and family to explain how to help a loved one facing a BC journey. But I know I felt it did not go far enough about how for a little while others need to realize that this is not about them it is about the one with the cancer! Of course we are going to be stressed, preoccupied and unable to focus on much outside of the fact that we have a cancer diagnosis and this is going to mean some pretty major action is required. Maybe you need to say some of what you have put so well in your post. I found I got terrific support from my husband and daughters but my parents, sister and brother just did not give the support I thought they would. In the end as much as it hurt that they seemed so unable to understand what I needed I concentrated on the wonderful support I did get from my immediate family and friends. It was also fantastic to get such amazing support on here. Sometimes a rant on here just diffuses the tension enough to give you some relief. Hope you feel better and that your family give you some understanding with Mother's Day this Sunday. Take care. Deanne xxx