Forum Discussion
I hate this
I had a bilateral mastectomy and reconstruction last Thursday .I'm in hospital , drs think I might go home on Wednesday .I have a 22 month old and a 7 month old .My partner is undergoing chemo and radiation , has 4 more weeks to go .Most of the hospital staff has been good , my kids are being looked after , my partner is getting some rest and lots of family and friends have visited me .I should be happy right , everything is going well , I have lots of support and I should be positive .Well today I couldn't wait for everyone to leave so I could have a good cry .I miss my kids so much .I hate being in hospital .I hate how I cant pick up my kids and give them a big cuddle .I hate how I have to talk shit to whoever comes here and do thestay positive talk.I am so stressed about the results. I'm so over everything. I have so much anger I just want to scream . Honestly I don't know how all of you handle it Im just sick of trying to be strong .
35 Replies
- How are you going @Elmumof2 - have been thinking of you xxxx
- Thanks so much for all of your positive and encouraging comments ladies .I'm so lucky to be a member of such a supportive network , it makes me feel so much better xxxx
- @"Butterfly 40" good luck with your surgery , please keep us posted xxxx
- @bevvzy how are you feeling? Are you still in hospital? Today , 2 weeks after my mastectomy I had more surgery to remove more breast tissue so here I am again .I know I have her2 positive cancer and need herceptine for 12 months .Do you know your results? Sending you lots of healing vibes hon xxx
- Oh darling girl. You have so much to contend with. I think that you should let the nursing staff know that you don't want any visitors today. You need to rest, read some crappy magazines and not have to go through the whole story with everyone that visits. I know they mean well and they all love and care for you but you need some proper rest. If they get offended well so be it. If they ask is there anything they can do say yes - a meal for the family would be most appreciated. You will not have the energy or interest to be bothered cooking when you get home. You and your partner are in my thoughts.
Love Sandra
xxx - @Elmumof2 i know where u r at. I didnt check the date of your post but right now thats where i am at also. Lying here in hospital still. Hurting like crap. Love it when my fam come in but cant wait till they go also. Cause its hard to keep laughing, its hard and exhausting to convince them how good u feel and that your not at all worried and will be just fine. When deep down u r going through physical and mental hell. You want to be alone so you dont need to pretend for everyone. As said im still in hospital too and dont know when going as ended up being a little more extensive. Brain racing, cant sleep and is now 1.15am. Thats why we r here though, so u can vent and be as shitty as u want and it wont upset anyone as we are all or were, in the same place. Hugs and feel however u want to feel. We have earned that right i think
- Hi elmumof2, what you are going through is very hard and I feel for you. Sending you a huge cyberhug. xxx
- Yes, things do get better but you take as much time as you need. It is hard with little kids. I have two grown daughters and four beautiful grandies and they kept me positive and strong. I called it My Tit Trip. Everyone said I was going on a journey. I said so where is the sunset and the cocktail!! So it became my Tit Trip and I hated it. Still do. I put on this brave face for everyone but it still gets to me at times. I have three sisters and two of them have had the tit trip. Three out of four sisters - go figure. One is going through it again and restarts her chemo on Monday. It is one day at a time and I wish you every luck in the world with your trip.
- Hi @Elmumof2 I can't imagine how hard it can be for you going through what you are going through with two young children and husband having chemo and radio. I have tears in my eyes reading your words. You were having a very down moment. It's very normal real feelings. I hope you are home resting and healing now, and can give your little ones gentle and loving hugs anytime you want to.
I was diagnosed late last year at the age of 40 with two children 15 and 9. I felt my life turned upside down, very angry and upset. I cried so much, I cried with my family, friends, dentist, GP, breast nurses and breast surgeon..... I cried quietly by myself a lot. I have the strong and positive moment most of the time, but I do have the moment like yours. I had lumpectomy 4 months ago, now I am waiting for double mastectomy and I literally just got a date now.
lots of gentle hugs for you xxx - Hello lovely, Just popped on to say that it's completely normal to have down days. The fact that you have just had the diagnosis, major surgery, anaesthetic, and you are now healing - this is all within an extremely short time span. Add to that everything else with partner, kids etc no wonder your having a down moment. Use this time to do some tear duct spring cleaning, have a sobbing good cry, have a rant at the unfairness of the whole thing and totally get it out of your system. Doesn't mean you can't have a cry again at another point but it's a huge stress relief. I remember telling one lady if it made her feel better to have a tantrum to go for it - the full throw the body on the floor and kick the arms and legs kind ;) But put a couple of pillows down first. Big big hug. You're actually doing brilliantly. Xx Cath
