I had a moment yesterday :(

I am just 5 months into this fight and now i realise it is a fight, before I treated it like another project or job, now its a daily struggle - and i cry all the time, i cry at the radio in the car,  especially if wind beneath my wings comes on - i mean COME ON....I cry at anything pink (except for when my niece tells me it's her favourite colour), I want to slap the girls in the shops when I walk in and they say ..Hi - how are you today? or its breast cancer awareness month do you want to purchase a ribbon, I feel like saying I am a walking talking ribbon and do you really want to know how I am feeling today. I have not stopped on and off crying since I have been told I am having both boobs off. Now i know all the science and they its the best thing to do, but man, really - emotionally its a curse word i am not going to say here - i am just feeling like a punching bag. So you are 100% ok to cry at the cupcakes, the ribbons and the words - because even though I love the support and the movement, pink just isn't my favourite colour anymore. BIG LOVES... Shelli xxx

love you all xx

It's ok to cry, I still get weepy at the strangest times. I was also asked to buy something in a shopping centre to support BC, I bought a little manicure set to celebrate the fact I kept my nails. The lady said that all the money would be going towards BC research and I remarked that I was recovering myself. She didn't quite know what to say, no problem. I didn't cry then, but the other day I got teary when I saw another lady struggling with her scarf on her head. Like Robyn said, it is a kind of release valve, all the best, 

Hazel xx

I was fine with my diagnosis, scared, worried and everything else but the rushing to get me to hospital for the left breast mastectomy didn't give me time to think. Then straight to chemo. During chemo I had to renew my licence and was filling out the form when it came to the question "what is your hair colour". Well I didn't have any hair did I? Chemo had taken it quite early. I remember that question and bursting into uncontrollable tears for quite a while. My husband was quite worried about me until I finally thrust the form at him. He just quietly filled out blonde, my former colour and the colour of my wig.

Anything can make you cry and it is usually something as silly as my question or a bouncy young thing selling pink things!!

It's only been a year for you so still abit raw.You never know when and what might "set you off".It was like that for me for about 2 years after bc and then I was"ok".Now I'm a bit "boo hoo" again since my mum died last May- I guess it's better to release the valve abit as Robyn says.I just don't want the flood gates to open! Tonya xx

sending you hugs xxxxx

sending you hugs xxxxx