I don't know how to process any of this anymore. I have been told my lump, originally thought to be 1.5cm was in fact 3.2cm triple negative grade 3. That means I have Stage 2 Breast Cancer. F*&k it!!! I don't know how to deal with this. I feel like there is no hope. I don't want the staging scans as I'm sure they will just tell me it's gone everywhere. I will be seeing an oncologist next week and start Chemotherapy. How the hell did this happen to me. Help ladies I need so much support right now. Mandy x

We are here. I know that it is hard right now but your doctors have probably told you that your cancer is still very treatable. There are many women with similar pathology that have clear scans. It is an awful process and the not knowing is just so hard. Your head gets too far out in front and you start thinking the worst. The scans will probably be clear and you will feel a huge sense of relief when this is confirmed. My tumor was also a lot bigger than the mammogram showed. I had 3 cm tumor and a 3 cm area of DCIS. The bad news for me was that it was in 5 lymph glands. This made my cancer stage 3a. It is a bugger that yours is triple negative but this is still not a death sentence. I know you have probably heard this before but just take it one step at a time. Do you have someone to take with you for the scans and oncologist appointment? This helps you get through and they can be a second pair of ears and even ask questions that you might be too emotional to think of. Chemo we can talk about too, just ask away. Sending lots of hugs your way. Have a good cry it is ok to feel scared but we are here if you want to talk. Deanne xxooooo

I know that you must be in shock and feeling very low right now but don't jump the gun my dear girl. You are doing all the right things, seeing your medical team, planning treatment. I had Stage 2 BC and I can tell you, it's not a death sentence. I am through chemo and surgery and right now I'm cancer free. My Oncologist told me that yes TNBC is aggressive and fast growing but it responds very well to treatment. As opposed to ER+ and/or HER2 + in which case you need to have targeted treatment as well as chemo which can be ongoing for up to 10 years. I had two lumps one was TNBC and one was ER+ and HER2 + both in the same breast. Quite rare apparently but look at me now. NO CANCER! There is always hope Mandy. Things look so black right now but the clouds will clear and you will see you way again. I wrote a poem that might be of help to you if you want to read it. The link is http://www.bcna.org.au/user/12607/blog/62506 Mandy you have begun a difficult journey, there's no denying that. But it is 'doable' and I'm sure that other lovely Pink Sisters will reassure you too that you are not alone. This network has been my savour when I first begun and you will find strength and determination to get through it all like I did. Sending you lots of hugs. Love Janey xxx

I don't know how to deal with this

34 Replies

JessicaV
Member
12 years ago
Hi, I am in Kalamunda, near Perth in W.A. And yes, without my daughter I think I would be struggling a lot more than I do. I have days when I have total hissy fits, or spend a chunk of the day feeling upset and miserable Since I told my older sister and mother in NZ about my diagnosis three weeks ago, my sister has rung me at 5.45 one morning and asked really intimate prying questions, and my mother has sent me a one line email through my sister, no card, no letter, no flowers, and no indications of understanding I have a serious problem here. So I felt I should spell it out to that this could indeed be a death sentence. though I will do my best not to let it be. But I am slowly getting used to this new territory and the fact that I have a health battle to win

best wishes, thanks for getting back to me. I see my oncologist on Wednesday, hope to start soon, but no idea really when.
mandycoop
Member
12 years ago
Hi Jessica, Thank you for your post. I certainly was knocked for a six with my diagnosis. I am feeling more periods of calm as time goes on but the fear still sneaks in. The drugs don't help either. Such an emotional roller coaster. It's great that you have such a rational daughter to keep you in check. If you are like me then rational moments are few and far between on this journey. Where abouts are you Jessica? Have you started treatment as yet? Mandyxx
JessicaV
Member
12 years ago
Hi Mandy, just read your blog, and wondered how you are doing now on this scary journey. I learnt early in Jan that I have/had a 2.2cm Invasive IDC with nearly 6cm DCIS, which added up to a breast that was almost entirely full of cancer, such a shock.Luckily the surgeon estimated 3cm, so 2.2 was a relief :)

Like you I had a clear sentinel node, and clear margins (though not nearly the same wonderful margin that your surgeon got) and my bone scan and CT scan were clear. . I just learnt on Tuesday that I am HER2 pos instead of Triple Neg (with was my other option- neither a really nice thing to hear). Stage 2, Grade 3 is a bit scary too, but is just to help them work out what treatment will give us the best chance.

My daughter is a researcher, well used to statistics, and she said to remember that the clear bone scan, clear CT scan, clear margins and clear sentinel node put us well ahead of others and give us a damn good chance.It does actually mean there is an excellent chance for both of us that there are no secondaries at all and never will be. And that Chemo will take away even the relatively small risk.

Fear is a part of this journey, and I think it is the hardest part, good luck with the process of learning how to manage it in your own personal way.

thinking of you
JessicaV
Member
12 years ago
Hi Mandy, just read your blog, and wondered how you are doing now on this scary journey. I learnt early in Jan that I have/had a 2.2cm Invasive IDC with nearly 6cm DCIS, which added up to a breast that was almost entirely full of cancer, such a shock.Luckily the surgeon estimated 3cm, so 2.2 was a relief :)

Like you I had a clear sentinel node, and clear margins (though not nearly the same wonderful margin that your surgeon got) and my bone scan and CT scan were clear. . I just learnt on Tuesday that I am HER2 pos instead of Triple Neg (with was my other option- neither a really nice thing to hear). Stage 2, Grade 3 is a bit scary too, but is just to help them work out what treatment will give us the best chance.

My daughter is a researcher, well used to statistics, and she said to remember that the clear bone scan, clear CT scan, clear margins and clear sentinel node put us well ahead of others and give us a damn good chance.It does actually mean there is an excellent chance for both of us that there are no secondaries at all and never will be. And that Chemo will take away even the relatively small risk.

Fear is a part of this journey, and I think it is the hardest part, good luck with the process of learning how to manage it in your own personal way.

thinking of you
mandycoop
Member
12 years ago
Hi Natalie, Thank you for asking. I am finding that I am finding some periods of calm and acceptance as time is moving on. My thought care not constantly focus on secondaries and my ultimate end which is a good thing. I'm feeling more. Like a survivor but I do fear what life after treatment might be like. How do you cope with the thoughts so recurrence? What I stage were you if I may ask? What lifestyle changes have you made to try and prevent metastasis? Thank you again for reaching yo to me. Mandyxx
NatalieK
Member
12 years ago
Ive just been reading about you and wondering how you are doing. I was diagnosed with grade 3 triple neg 2 years ago at age 35 and now doing fine. How are you?
NatalieK
Member
12 years ago
Ive just been reading about you and wondering how you are doing. I was diagnosed with grade 3 triple neg 2 years ago at age 35 and now doing fine. How are you?
Anonymous
Not applicable
12 years ago
Hi Leanne,

I'm just jumping in to include a link to the 'Triple negative' online group you were referring Mandy to - http://www.bcna.org.au/group/16948
Robyn_W
Member
12 years ago
Mandy,that is great that your scans are clear:) Robyn
mandycoop
Member
12 years ago
Thank you so much. My mum arrived yesterday and it is so good to have her support.

I need others to be strong for me at the moment.

Best news yesterday as all CT and bone scans clear. So relieved to hear that news.

I hope you are feeling better

xxx