Hi

It's natural to worry. Couple of things (that might be just me, I don't know!) that I tell myself:

First of all, you can be the healthiest health nut on earth and still get cancer. I was pretty (no, /very/) fit and I had a 6.5cm grade 3 bastard. Being healthy can help you get through treatment and help you enjoy your life, but in the right now you are in survival mode. give yourself permission to do whatever  you need to get through it.

Second, I steer clear of statistics (partly because the chance of recurrence for me is relatively high). You know what? For any of us, really, it's 0% or 100% -- it either comes back or it doesn't. Keeping track of the odds might be useful for some people but for me it makes me depressed.

Finally; two years after finishing treatment, (and back to excellent fitness--I really did just run a marathon) I still feel as though every little ache is cancer coming back. My current strategy is to set aside an hour every Tuesday to really think through all my disaster scenarios, surf the internet for 'matching' symptoms, and generally wallow in cancer-thoughts. But if it's not 4pm on Tuesday afternoon, I have to set those thoughts aside and do something else.

I'm sure these strategies sound very odd but they work for me. Meanwhile, as long as you're still in treatment, I think it's almost impossible not to think about it 24/7, so just go with it. You are allowed to think about it. Actually right now you are allowed to do/think/say whatever the hell you want.

Hang in there; it will almost definitely get better.

Go well,
Heather

It's natural to worry. Couple of things (that might be just me, I don't know!) that I tell myself:

First of all, you can be the healthiest health nut on earth and still get cancer. I was pretty (no, /very/) fit and I had a 6.5cm grade 3 bastard. Being healthy can help you get through treatment and help you enjoy your life, but in the right now you are in survival mode. give yourself permission to do whatever  you need to get through it.

Second, I steer clear of statistics (partly because the chance of recurrence for me is relatively high). You know what? For any of us, really, it's 0% or 100% -- it either comes back or it doesn't. Keeping track of the odds might be useful for some people but for me it makes me depressed.

Finally; two years after finishing treatment, (and back to excellent fitness--I really did just run a marathon) I still feel as though every little ache is cancer coming back. My current strategy is to set aside an hour every Tuesday to really think through all my disaster scenarios, surf the internet for 'matching' symptoms, and generally wallow in cancer-thoughts. But if it's not 4pm on Tuesday afternoon, I have to set those thoughts aside and do something else.

I'm sure these strategies sound very odd but they work for me. Meanwhile, as long as you're still in treatment, I think it's almost impossible not to think about it 24/7, so just go with it. You are allowed to think about it. Actually right now you are allowed to do/think/say whatever the hell you want.

Hang in there; it will almost definitely get better.

Go well,
Heather

You're very welcome roxy. Sometime I hardly had the energy to get up from the recliner chair, and put the frozen meal in the microwave. My husband works long hours so I really couldn't expect him to do much around the house. He got frozen soup, dinner and desert for ages but that was fine. . My mum came over a bit too. If you have private health cover u can access my rehab is at Victorian oncology program, springvale rd glenwaverly. There is also rehab at other places too. I've gained a bit of weight as I as eating normally but struggling with walking. I couldn't keep up with my 85 yr old mother! I also has such swollen legs. My oncologist said yes that happens but didn't give me any suggestions. a nurse friend who is on our journey suggested lasix so I spoke to my GP and that helped. I think it's about trying to identify what the struggle is and if you can do anything about it or if you need to try go surrender into it. It's a struggle I still have daily.

Thank you so much. It's nice to hear that I not the only one feeling like that. I have two teenaged daughters and my hubby, and found that during chemo I was (and still am) so tired that cooking is a chore as well as the shopping for ingredients. I am hoping that now I go into radio that I won't be as tired and will have more energy. I have my checkup with my medical oncologist this week and will discuss with her diet, exercise etc Again thank you for replying to my post, it's great to know we aren't alone

No I think you're right. sometimes people think you need to be a health nut. Sometimes too I'm hard on myself if I eat the wrong things or don't exercise that's wrong and it's based in fear. The neuropsychologist I'm seeing is trying to help me work through that because that's just not helpful and not true. Right now, you need to take it easy, listen to your body and treat yourself with gentleness. I only started exercise when I started rehabilitation halfway through radiotherapy. my health insurance covered if I did it all in the same year I had my operations. And I needed to do exercise under guidance I couldn't do it on my own. My blood pressure was going so low it just wasn't safe. Yes, you're right people make judgements. I figured it was them trying to cope with what was happening to me. They were scared and they cared for me. I tried to get them to do practical things rather than just give me lip service. I asked them to make some healthy soups or juices for me because I didn't have the energy to shop, juice and I really hated cleaning the juicer. I'm lucky. It's only me and my husband so I also had lite n easy meals delivered as a back up. So first things first. Take care and look after yourself.

Thanks for the reply. I will look into getting the book, thanks for the suggestion. I have been trying to get healthier however I have to admit that it has been hard during chemo. Exercise will have to come later :) I feel everyone (my family and friends) expects me to become some sort of health nut now and it feels like a lot of pressure and that if the cancer comes back it will be my fault. Sorry to vent, I'm not even sure why I just wrote that and I am trying to resist the urge to delete it

Hi I finished five months of chemotherapy and six weeks of radiotherapy about three weeks ago. It's natural to worry about recurrence. Speak to your doctors, they can help you separate the reality from the fiction and the worry. I don't know if it's the same for everybody but I was told that with out the chemotherapy I had a 40 to 50% chance of it coming back. I'm not sure the timelines for that. Following chemo and radiotherapy, I have a five possibly up to 10% chance of it coming back in 10 to 20 years. I'm encouraged that drugs are being developed is all the time and getting better ... So, on the good days, I try to stay positive and not worry. But I do worry too. I know I've mentioned about rehabilitation before. My exercise physiologists said latest research is that they are using exercise to treat cancer! My oncologist told me that the three things that have been proven to fight cancer are exercise, leafy green vegetables and green tea. Personally, I couldn't do any form of exercise during chemotherapy. Have courage .. though I still have lots of times I worry but I'm also trying to exercise and eat well. But we knew that before, that sugar is not as good for you as vegetables. But we need to have balance and not obsess too. I have been seeing neuropsychologist every week one on one (totally covered by the health insurance) She mentioned a book called the cancer survivors companion ...practical ways to cope with your feelings after cancer. I ordered it online.... it's about $14 or so of the book depository. It's helped me no end.

Hi I finished five months of chemotherapy and six weeks of radiotherapy about three weeks ago. It's natural to worry about recurrence. Speak to your doctors, they can help you separate the reality from the fiction and the worry. I don't know if it's the same for everybody but I was told that with out the chemotherapy I had a 40 to 50% chance of it coming back. I'm not sure the timelines for that. Following chemo and radiotherapy, I have a five possibly up to 10% chance of it coming back in 10 to 20 years. I'm encouraged that drugs are being developed is all the time and getting better ... So, on the good days, I try to stay positive and not worry. But I do worry too. I know I've mentioned about rehabilitation before. My exercise physiologists said latest research is that they are using exercise to treat cancer! My oncologist told me that the three things that have been proven to fight cancer are exercise, leafy green vegetables and green tea. Personally, I couldn't do any form of exercise during chemotherapy. Have courage .. though I still have lots of times I worry but I'm also trying to exercise and eat well. But we knew that before, that sugar is not as good for you as vegetables. But we need to have balance and not obsess too. I have been seeing neuropsychologist every week one on one (totally covered by the health insurance) She mentioned a book called the cancer survivors companion ...practical ways to cope with your feelings after cancer. I ordered it online.... it's about $14 or so of the book depository. It's helped me no end.