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jacinta_lee's avatar
jacinta_lee
Member
13 years ago

Having one of 'those' days!

Hey there everyone,

I'm 34 yrs old have two boys (7&8yrs) and was diagnosed with stage three breast cancer in Nov 2011. Have made it through a mastectomy, lymph node clearance & chemo (on the waiting list for 6 weeks of radiation). There's so much to this disease, but, being VERY lop-sided (have only one big boob now!) combined with total hair loss, I have become so self conscious that leaving the house is a big deal. Since when did going to the supermarket become so hard!?? Kind of feel ashamed to admit that I'm so wrapped up in the superficial side of how I look when there are more important things I should be worrying about, but the constant reminder I get every time I walk past a mirror and glimpse my bald, eyelash and brow less head I cringe. Hoping I'm not on my own with this feeling of guilt!!

Cheers, Jacinta.

2 Replies

  • Janet_Plummer's avatar
    Janet_Plummer
    Member
    13 years ago

    Hi Jacinta,

     I can see from the date of your post that's it been a couple of months since you wrote it although I've only  just read  it. I just wanted to say I can relate to how you've been feeling. I think one of the cruelest things about this disease  is that as well as attacking our health and threatening our lives it attacks our self-esteem and how we feel about ourselves as women. Breasts and hair are two of the key features that can make us feel attractive.  When those features are degraded or lost it's a huge blow to our self-esteem.

     I've been lucky enough to be able to get away with a lumpectomy but I still feel self-conscious about my lop-sided breasts. (I'm kind of dreading summer and more revealing clothes).  And since starting chemo and losing my hair I feel like I've become a semi-hermit. I go to the supermarket when I have to but I keep my eyes down and hope that I don't see anyone I know even though I spent a lot of money on a wig. I keep wondering whether people can tell it's a wig.

    I don't think you should feel guitly about the way you feel. I think it's perfectly understandable and a lot of us I'm sure are feeling exactly the same way. I know I am. As Sam has said, just try and be nice to yourself.  I really feel for you, especially being so young. At 46 I thought I was "young" to be getting breast cancer but since reading many posts on this site I've realised there are many who are a lot younger. Good luck Jacinta. I hope you are feeling a bit better than you were in June. Janet.

  • sillysam83's avatar
    sillysam83
    Member
    13 years ago

    Jacinta... 

    Ofcourse you are not alone... 

    Have you done the 'Look Good Feel Better' Program?

    Do u still feel this way if you wear a wig?

    Have you tried doing something nice for yourself to make you feel more like a women... ???? 

    I too find the supermarket a hard place to go sometimes due to anxiety etc, I have not found a solution to this yet unfortunately... :(