Get my post surgery results on Thursday and I'm worried

I have an 11 year old. She is quite resilient. I have been upfront with her from the start (within reason) because I knew if I hid it from her she would worry more, and imagine I was going to die tomorrow.

being a school mum is awesome. I have so many offers from my fellow mums. I feel so blessed to have my army behind me.

the fear is definitely the worst. Only other people with BC understand that fear that comes and goes. I use meditation, magazines and the Internet to distract me.

Ultimately it is the doctors and treatment that decide my fate. Panicking or staying calm won't affect it either way. My breast nurse is a lifeline. I love her.

deep breaths. Got my fingers crossed for you.

Hi Anita, hope all went well today. Thinking of you, Lyn

Hi Jane,

The waiting is what's the hardest I think and the fear of the unknown but the support I've recieved from everyone on here has made my journey all that much easier for me and my godmother has been great too as she has been calling me from Melb quite frequently as her son had bc a few years so she has been through it with him and I don't speak to my mother because of racial issues my mums racist and I've been happily married for close to 18 years to a wonderful sri lankan man who I love dearly I'm going to look at getting a book from the cancer council yes kids are very resilient and they amaze you with the things they come out with my daughter allways has her way to cheer me up or make me smile and laugh I suppose I couldn't ask for more could I? Her school has been so wonderfully supportive as I have so many friends there and the staff all know and respect us and I know they will watch her especially her teacher my daughter just adores her teacher.

I hope we can talk again soon,

Anitaxxx

Hi Di,

Thanks for your kind words the ladies on here are so wonderful and there really is no support better than someone who is travelling through this journey or has travelled the journey of having bc my daughter is 9 going on 10 and her school is so supportive as she's been going there since preschool and I have been doing volunteer work there since she started Preschool so everyone knows me which makes it so much easier I'm pretty much an unpaid teachers assistant, I hope to go back to study after all this is over and get my certificate 3 & 4 in education I know over ambitious but It's a goal ( my major goal ) my goal for the moment is to give my daughter an awesome 10th birthday party next Febuary I don't have any Ideas yet but I'm sure I'll come up with some. I didn't know the Cancer Council had a library well that's something I have to look into. I'm very lucky to have her as my Breast Nurse she's trained by the Mcgrath Foundation, I haven't met any of my other Doctors or nurses yet but my surgeon is amazing I have total faith in him.

Hope to chat soon,

Anita

Hi Anita, I hope all goes well on Thursday and that you don't have to have chemo, but even if you do, know that you have lots of supporters here and that although chemo is tough, it is also doable. I had 6 cycles of chemo and 12 months of Herceptin which finished in June 2013 and I can't say it was easy but all the stuff you imagine beforehand quite often doesn't happen :-)  

As for the kids, mine were 8 and 13 when I was diagnosed and they both coped quite well - it's amazing how resilient kids can be! We were upfront about the diagnosis and what was to happen and I think this helped them understand better what was going on. We found the booklet by the Cancer Council, called something like Talking to the Children About Cancer, really helpful in working out what to say and how to say it. Both kid's schools were fantastic and kept an eye on them throughout the time, regularly checking in with them. The school communities also provided practical help in the form of meals, hampers and walking my youngest home on days I couldn't face the crowds (and questions) at the school gate. 

It sounds as though you have a good network of people around you and this makes such a huge difference, making a tough time much easier to bear. Whatever happens on Thursday, you will be OK. Jane xx

Hi Anita

So glad you're on the network and sharing your concerns. We learn so much from each other here.

Like you, I found the 'waiting for results' time very worrying and stressful. Like I was stuck in a big, dark hole. I tried to keep busy with non cancer stuff and find regular time to relax (walking, being outdoors).  Sometimes I found it helpful to write feelings and questions down in my journal. Over time, I learnt a lot about self compassion which helped me cope with bc.

Sounds like your breast care nurse is a very special person to have on your team. Her ongoing reassurance and support will be invaluable - a gift for sure! There may also be resources/storybooks helpful for your daughter especially for any questions and fears about your bc and treatments - via BCNA website (plus Cancer Council Library). Will check with a bc friend, too, who has young daughters and pass on any helpful tips to you.

All the best for tomorrow.  We're all thinking of you.

Keep in touch.

Di

Hi Hazel,

I guess I shouldn't have assumed things also but I did and it's getting to me, I trust my Surgeon and he knows what's best for me ultimatly so I guess I just have to go with the flow so to speak. My daughter allready has some concept I think because I usually sleep with her but I haven't been able to do that since surgery because of the pain and she understands that but misses me reading 4 - 5 books every night, she keeps asking me when are you going to sleep with me again and I keep telling her after I see the doctor, she's not going to like seeing me sick and I've been told by my Breast Care Nurse that bc patients lose their hair so I don't know how she'll go with that so If I have to have chemo I'm getting my hair cut as I have long hair and apparently it can be quite traumatizing if you lose your hair when It's long, so I've been advised to get it cut, I'm sure she'll tell me I look funny she'll probably compare me to a pokemon character lol laughing's better than crying. I feel better now, what I love about everyone on here is the support is endless and it allways makes me see things in a better light. Lots of cyber hugs coming your way.

Anitaxx

Hi Summer,

Thank you that's great advice, I have a fantastic Breast Nurse and she has been very supportive and helpful and If I need to talk to her I can call her she's going to call me Thursday afternoon about my results if she can't make it to my doctors appt at 9.20 so either way I'll talk to her Thursday. I know I'm not alone but sometimes it feels that way and I just want to scream at someone and cry histerically but I just can't seem to do that as I tend to bottle things up which isn't good for me, stressing myself out about it doesn't help either I just need to focus on the here and now not the this could happen and read what's on the internet I'll drive myself nuts.

Lots of Cyber Hugs

Anita.

Hi Anita, I can understand your fears. I had a lumpectomy in Oct 2013 and was told I would have radiation. No chemo was mentioned so I assumed there wouldn't be any, also because there was no cancer detected in the lymph nodes and the surgeon got clear margins. The medical team decided that because of my terrible family history that it would be a good idea to 'mop up' anyway. I shouldn't have assumed, I realise that now. I was devastated and inconsolable at first. Then I realised they are the experts and I had to do everything possible to give me the best chance of getting through and come out the other end with no regrets. Chemo wasn't easy for me, lots of speedbumps along the way, but I made it. Looking back, I'm not sure how I made it but I did. I took things one day at a time and eventually it was over. Try not to worry too much before you get your results, if you need it, it's best you have it. In regards to your daughter, it might me difficult to explain why the medicine can make you ill but children understand a lot of things better than we know. Best wishes with whatever treatment you have and don't forget there is a lot support on here for you with whatever questions you have, big cyber hugs to you, 

Hazel xx

Hi Anita

You are not alone.  You have all the ladies on this network who are here to support you, give you encouragement and advice and cyber hugs.

You are in a good place as you seem to have a supportive husband and you obviously know your surgeon.  Trust him and the others in your medical team.

Don't waste valuable minutes worrying at this stage as what is there is there and you just have to listen about the results when they are presented and then make the decisions re your treatment.  You are the one in charge - it is your body and your life so ask ask ask - all the questions you want as that is what the medicos are there for.

Stay in touch, vent when you need and we are here for you.

Hugs

Summer  :-)