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Drivingwithoneh's avatar
Drivingwithoneh
Member
14 years ago

Feeling Lost

I hate to be a downer but I have finisher all my chemo & radiotherapy 6 weeks ago, still on Herceptin for another 5 months and hair is growing back and Im feeling gr8.....Except for a few little things. People are expecting me to be back to my normal self. Although Im trying my darndest to have life back on track, I do get tired, feel a bit unwell some times and bloated due to herceptin (I think) But if I make a comment in passing to my partner or parents they ask me am I eating right? "Eat more fibre.....Eat more fruit...eat more veg... Have a panadol and I will go away!" They dont seem to understand the treatment has a lingering effect. They are all ways looking to pin point it to something I have done myself. I think tho that it is a case of them not wanting to think about it again (particulaly my parents who both did not cope well with me being sick)

My radiotherapy was the last of my major treatment and one the last day of it my mother said...and I quote "Right....it's all over with now....we won't speak of it again". Totally shattered me.

At the moment it's only my 2 beautiful Border Collies that really understand me.

Time will heal all I guess. 

Keep fighting on. :-)

 

7 Replies

  • Nean's avatar
    Nean
    Member
    14 years ago
    I can completely understand how you feel, end of march last chemo end on may last radiation. My own expectations were very unrealistic. Still working back up to feeling normal, now I am dealing with the affects on tamoxifen ( fun). It will come slowly just take care of you. :) xx Nean
  • hilsandglen's avatar
    hilsandglen
    Member
    14 years ago

    Hiya, I have just finished my herceptin and also had lots of people tell me that life could get back to normal when I finished my chemo and radio. But the herceptin can have side effects and I have found that I get very breathless and very tired, I still get a dry mouth and my bowels are only now getting better ! It can be hard to front upto the hospital every 3 weeks for 15mths so just be kind to yourself. Listen to your body and do what you think is right for you . Remember we are all hear for you . With love Hilary xxx

  • magicmum's avatar
    magicmum
    Member
    14 years ago

    It's hard when everyone expects you to just bounce right back and be who you were BEFORE. But you aren't. You can't help how they are reacting, there's nothing you can do to  change that.  The hard part is not letting it affect your recovery. 

    Breathe, be calm, focus on what YOU need and want. Sounds like your partner and your daughter are on the right track so you have a great support team there. And this forum is AWESOME. I love being here with people who totally get where I am and what I'm feeling without question, without explanation.

    The rest will work itself out. When people don't understand just explain if you can, and if they still can't,  then let it be. It doesn't matter. You moving forward is what matters. This is the time in your life to be selfish.

    Loads of good luck for your reconstruction.

    magicmum

     

  • Drivingwithoneh's avatar
    Drivingwithoneh
    Member
    14 years ago

    Hi Julie.

    Thank you so much for your kind words.

    It puts things into perspective hearing from others.

    I hope your doing well and all thought the chemo is a really rough ride you will come out on the other side. And when the effcts of the last treatment wear off you will be feeling fantastic.

    Keep fighting hard and thanks again!


    Cheers Rach. xoxo

  • Drivingwithoneh's avatar
    Drivingwithoneh
    Member
    14 years ago

    Hi Tonya.

    So dissapointed to hear you have battled this demon twice. U are a real inspiration. 

    I my mother is from the genereation of out of sight out of mind. She has not handled my bc well at all. She has been my greatest teacher in life because she has taught me how NOT to treat your own daughter. And my 18 yr old girl is so wrapped with that. Hahaha.

    Yes the driving with one headlight is quite difficult to get use to especially when I am a size E cup. But im off to my first app with the Plastic Surgeon tomorrow after my herceptin to see what my options are.

    I am going to tell my partner what you advised and it will work. He has just tried to do to much and I think its burning him out as well.

    Onwards and upwards for us all.

    There is a real sense of sisterhood on here and Im feeling the luv already.

    Again thanks so much for you kind words.

    Cheers

    Rach. xx

     

  • TonyaM's avatar
    TonyaM
    Member
    14 years ago

    Your mum sounds like she is from the generation who sweep things under the carpet and don't dare mention the big c.I think that's pretty harsh to say that to you but then I wonder if it's all just too painful for her to have a daughter go through bc. Physically it takes a good few months to get your energy somewhat back but mentally/emotionally it takes alot longer.From your name can I presume you are in the one boob brigade like me?It takes alot of getting used to.I've had breast cancer twice and I think my husband has  learnt to listen to me without offerring a solution all the time.We just need to be heard and have a hug - tell your partner that. You can blog here anytime for support or to just vent your feelings.We know what you've been through and there is a real sisterhood here at this network.

                                                Tonya xx

  • chipmunk's avatar
    chipmunk
    Member
    14 years ago

    Hi Drivingwithoneheadlight

    Fantastic !! to hear that you have finished chemo and radiation. Congrats to you !! :)

    I think it would take a while to feel 100 percent. And you would have some lingering effects still happening. They need to remember that you had treatment for quite a while and it will take a while before your body feels any kind of "normal". Just like giving birth.... your body takes ages to get back to normal.

    Until they walk in your shoes, they really don't know what it's like...... We will always have the thought of cancer in our minds.... every day in some form or another. We will alway have the "wonder" if it will come back..

    No-one will really understand us.... that haven't been through it.

    Comments from others at times - will shatter us. But just remember who we are - FIGHTERS and FORGIVERS.

    Don't let them get you down - you totally don't deserve it.

    Just keep smiling and know yourself on the outside as well as the inside.

    Love and hugs Julie XX