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Rose76's avatar
Rose76
Member
13 years ago

Emotional rollercoaster!!

When i was diagnosed someone told me that "you are on a rollercoaster, with incredible ups and stomache plunging downs!"....They were so unbelievably right! I was 35 and 32 weeks pregnant with my second child, who me and my partner had been hoping for, but never thought would happen....a miracle! I noticed a lump in my left breast which almost seemed like it had come up over night. I felt a moment of dread but perked up thinking it was just part of being pregnant....fibroids or something.....right??...WRONG!! I got told it was breast cancer at 7pm the night my partner and i had just put up the babies bassinet in our room! I went to my docters the next day who told me it was "agressive"...i heard this and pretty much shut down thinking that my life was over! I had no idea that this could be beaten and there were women survivng this! They gave me my first round of chemo while i was pregnant! I had no idea they could do this!!!! But i was assured that no harm would be done to my unborn child...so give it to me, lets get this ball rolling!! Well the ball well and truly rolled! after chemo 4 weeks passed then i was induced 4 weeks early and gave birth to a beautiful baby girl...nothing wrong with her or her lungs!! then another chemo...then surgery...and results(The worst wait in the world!!) 4 cm tumour, clear margins no lymph node involvement! More chemo! I am coming up for the 4th chemo but told it might have to be put off a week due to an wound infection!!! Noooo!! So now i have been in hospital for a week on antibiotics and i feel like the worst mum in the world i just want to be at home with my 10 yr old son and my 10 week old daughter...i miss them! I just cant see an end to all this and i get so anxious. Any little thing is cancer now a headache a stomachache,even though i have had clear results for all of this! But i cant help these emotions and im sure my supportive family are sick of reassuring me! that is why someone suggested this site, and i must say it has helped alot!!! So thank you for reading my outburst! :)

4 Replies

  • Anonymous's avatar
    Anonymous
    Not applicable
    13 years ago

    Hi Rose76,

    You might also like to connect with the online group 'Lump & bump' -- This group has been set up for those who have been diagnosed with breast cancer while pregnant. You can find the group here: http://www.bcna.org.au/group/9161

    There are some other stories here:

    Diagnosed at 26 weeks: http://www.bcna.org.au/new-diagnosis/treatment/young-women/personal-stories-young-women/diagnosed-when-pregnant

    Blog post: - http://www.bcna.org.au/network/groups/5157/blog/16781 

    There are a lot of women out there that can offer you support - Just shout if you need a hand finding your way around.

    Cheers, Daina

  • sillysam83's avatar
    sillysam83
    Member
    13 years ago

    Hi rose, 

    if your on Facebook check out this group - We have a few ladies who have had chemo during pregnancy and had to leave their babies for more treatments/surgeries... Perhaps they can help you thru this hard time. 

    You will get thru this... 

    Xxx

    www.facebook.com/groups/youngpinksisters

    Merylee

  • Rose76's avatar
    Rose76
    Member
    13 years ago

    Hi Tonya! :)    

    I've just said goodbye to my partner and kids again and thought i would log on and see if i had any messages, and thats when i read your  lovely reply! Thank you soo much, even tho i am in tears.....yet again!! lol I can't believe there is so many supportive people out there and i think this site is a wonderful way to vent and just be with people that fully understand how i feel!! I am proud to be a part of it and the "pink sisterhood"! I do try and take each appointment and treatment one step at a time and i must say it works to help me get through it. Being in here tho i have time to think and some times my thoughts start to go down that dark path which i try so hard not tothink about! What is frustrating as well is that when i am being positive someone will come along and say "wow you are really happy considering what you have!" and for some reason i feel like screaming "its gonna be okay, im gonna survive this!!" and i feel the need to quote the statistics to them. I know im being unreasonable and its not their fault but i cant help it! But ive got to realise it is still only new to me and these emotions will settle. Seeing this site and reading truly inspirational stories,like your own, has made me feel like im "normal" again and for that im very appreciative!!! Im Addicted!!! lol So im just gonna have to keep nagging the doctors and lovely nurses until they let me go home!! Sending even bigger hugs. Rose xx :)                                                              

  • TonyaM's avatar
    TonyaM
    Member
    13 years ago

    You poor love,no one should have to go through bc and chemo when they are about to give birth.It's supposed to be a joyous event and what alot your poor body had to go through leading up to  and after it. I can't imagine how you coped with all that but we do don't we. There are lots of positives though- a beautiful baby girl,clear margins and clear lymph nodes(a good result in the cancer world!).What a bummer being back in hospital when your baby is at home.It sometimes seems that there is no light to be seen at the end of the dark tunnel you are in.It's normal to be anxious-you are in the thick of it. It can be overwhelming to think of all the treatment ahead so just "shelve it"and live in the here and now.I only allow myself to worry about something for 48hrs now and if I can't solve it then I put it on my mental shelf.I've had early breast cancer twice - 2003 and 2010.I'm fine now but it took me about 2 years each time to get my confidence back in my health.If breast cancer is caught early with no lymph node involvement then the odds are in your favour to live a long life.There are lots of us on this site who are doing well.Blog back here for info and support or  to vent -I think it helps.You need support from family and friends but your pink sisters here truly understand your fears and the hard bc treatments. Hope you are home soon- sending hugs. Tonya xx